


I FORGOT HOW TO BE ME - Joker | Arthur Fleck FANFIC/LOVE STORY

by Amytron30



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Clowns, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gotham City - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Italian Mafia, Mental Health Issues, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amytron30/pseuds/Amytron30
Summary: This is a sequel to my 1st fanfic, Relapse.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s), Joker/Original Character(s)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 10





	1. Loss

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this: My name is Amy and.... hello!! 
> 
> As stated, this is a sequel to my first story "Relapse", so if you haven't read it yet...please do. I mean, I guess you don't HAVE to, but...yeah, anyways. 
> 
> This story is obviously set AFTER everything that happened in the Joaquin Phoenix - JOKER movie, so it won't really be based on anything in particular. Meaning, I will be using A LOT more creative freedom in this story. I have a pretty solid outline that I am working with and I am so excited! SO. EXCITED.
> 
> There will be a lot of mature themes. I can't list them all because, even though I have an outline, I may change things as I go. However, it is safe to say it will have some of the same things as in Relaspe - mentioning of drug use, abuse, violence, swearing, SMUT, etc. I usually do "smut only" chapters and give notices of when really bad "trigger topics" come up...so you can skip them if needed. I usually try to write things so you can skip the REALLY bad stuff, but still follow along with what is going on.
> 
> Also, the title is inspired by the song - "How to Be Me" by Ren/CHINCHILLA. Not sure if you care, but I think it is a pretty song and I am currently OBSESSED with it...so I thought I would share. Go check it out!
> 
> Well, I can't think of anything else that needs to be said now...except:
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story (as much as the first one, if you read it, if not more)! Please feel free to leave comments to let me know how you are liking it or not liking it (but if you dont like it....please be **constructive** about it. There is enough rudeness and hate in the world, we don't need it here.) Honestly, though, getting feedback that someone is actually enjoying the story does help with my motivation to write. I'm just being honest... Haha!
> 
> Thank you!!!
> 
> Oh, and BEWARE. This 1st chapter is long AF.

_"At the temple there is a poem called 'Loss' carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it."_

_-Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha_  
__________________________________________

White. The color associated with innocence, light, goodness, cleanliness, softness, safety, understanding, sincerity, and hope. However, that hasn't been my experience. Ever since I was locked up in this sickeningly white building, I have experienced none of those - only darkness, evil, filth, abuse, fear, lies, and despair. 

Though my days, hours, and minutes are blurred, I know that I have been here at Arkham Hospital for nearly a year now. The only reason I know this is because the patient that is in the room next to me, which is connected by a small air vent, is obsessed with dates/days/times. She is constantly checking the time and sharing what the universe has to say about each and every single new day we survive to see. In other words, she hears voices that tell her all of these things. I don't mind, though. I have absolutely nothing else to do, so it keeps me sane...if that's what you'd call it. 

_'Sane' isn't the right word..._

When Sean, Arthur, and I were cornered by the SWAT team almost a year ago, they sent both Arthur and me here. I am not sure what happened to Sean. Probably sent to Blackgate; hopefully he was okay. 

They obviously sent Arthur here because he killed people. They sent me here because, once they found out I was involved with "Joker", they assumed I was brainwashed in some way - so they decided they were going to fix me. They were going to help free me from him, but I never asked to be "free" from him. I have done nothing, but express my wishes to see him. To be with him. My pleas have always been met with the same answers...

_No. - He is restricted from all visitors. - You are better off without him. - He is dangerous. - He will be locked up forever. - Forget him._

And their so called "help" - they were as helpful as Thomas Wayne was. 

_Was..._

No one knew, except for Arthur and Sean, that I was the one that killed Thomas and Martha Wayne on the night of the huge riot. I heard the doctors talk about it sometimes. Mainly in relation to how the young boy, who I found out was named Bruce, was doing. Dr. Brandt was working closely with one of the pediatric psychiatrists to make sure that young Bruce Wayne received the best care possible. Even though his parents were dead, he was still set to inherit everything from his father once he was old enough. Nothing but the best for the prince of Gotham. 

_Dr. Brandt..._

Hearing his name brought up the same anger and hatred I had towards Thomas Wayne. See, Dr. Brandt is the head doctor here at Arkham Hospital and he treats this place like his own personal Holy Land where he is "God". He does whatever he wants, to whoever he wants, whenever he wants. Just like Thomas Wayne. Electroshock therapy and lobotomies are common tactics he uses to get whatever he wants from his patients. If he wants to silence a patient that is constantly crying in pain, but can't communicate their problem due to their mental state, he will just lobotomize them so he won't have to hear them anymore. 

I experienced the electroshock therapy firsthand myself, shortly after I arrived here...

***Anon's flashback***

The GCPD officer roughly pushed me down onto a chair in a cold interrogation room, secured my handcuffs to the metal table, and left, slamming the heavy door behind him.

The long wait in the interrogation room was agonizing. My head hurt and my eyes still burned from the smoke bombs, that the SWAT team threw into the apartment room we had been hiding in, to assist in subduing us. I'm not sure how long I was sitting there before a woman walked into the room.

She sat down across from me and opened a file, "You are Lenora Blake, right?"

I didn't say anything and kept my burning eyesight on my cuffed hands. 

She grabbed a pen from her coat pocket and began writing, "My name is Dr. Mason, I am the on-staff psychiatrist that works here at the GCPD. They want me to assess you to see what they need to do with you."

My eyes shot up at her, "Need to do with me? They should let me go. I haven't done anything."

She smiled, "Well, just answer my questions and maybe I can convince them of that," she paused to let me speak, but I didn't, "so, tell me, you were found and arrested with Arthur Fleck, AKA Joker. Does that mean you're a follower of his...cause?"

I stayed silent. 

She tensed her jaw, obviously trying to figure out how to get me to cooperate. She then looked down at her file and started going through it, searching for something in particular. Once she found what she was looking for, a piece of paper, her eyes ran over it a few times before she spoke, "So, whenever suspects come into the GCPD, we do several minor tests so we can get a basic understanding of what might be going on. You know, drug use and such. That's why they made you pee in a cup and they also took your blood."

"Let me guess, drugs in my system? Wow, I'm shocked. Thank you for telling me something I didn't know," I rolled my eyes at her.

She looked at me and smiled again, but this one was painfully fake, "Yes, that was definitely something that showed up on some of the tests. I just hope it didn't cause too much damage."

"Of course the drugs caused damage to me. Trust me, I would just quit if it were that easy. I hate being stuck in that self-destructive cycle."

She shook her head as she flipped the paper over and placed it on the table in front of me, "I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about the baby." She tapped her finger on a specific part of the page, causing my eyes to zone in on it. 

I was speechless. I had no idea. I had been feeling bad lately, but I blamed it on my withdrawals from my recent, full-out bender. I was also horrible about keeping up with my period cycle, so the thought never occurred to me. 

_Me? Pregnant? That means..._

The doctor withdrew the paper from my view and placed it back in the file, "That was found through your blood test; they always check pregnancy so they can determine if female detainees need access to prenatal care when placed into custody," she paused, "is there a father we need to contact about this?"

I knew her question was just a bait question, to get me to reveal how involved I was with Arthur, but my thoughts and feelings were bubbling and folding over themselves; I couldn't think straight. I always thought about having a family one day, but I have never been stable enough to actually consider it a possibility. What would Arthur say? Would he be happy? Scared? Shit, I was scared, but also...unexpectedly happy. I hoped Arthur would be happy once he heard the news, but we never talked about children. So, I wasn't sure how he felt about children. I mean, I knew he was good with them - I learned that at the children's hospital - but having your own is a totally different ballgame. 

I put my fingers on my lips as I smiled, "Where is Arthur?"

"He was automatically taken to the Arkham State Hospital, but please focus on you and your situation right now. Is there a father that needs to know about this baby?"

I nodded my head, "Yes, but I want to tell him myself."

She got her pen ready, "Okay, well, tell me his name and a way to contact him and we will call him up here."

"He is at Arkham, like you said."

She raised an eyebrow at me, "So, you are saying Mr. Fleck is the father?" 

I nodded my head as the door flung open and a gruff voice yelled, "Are you done with her yet?"

The doctor looked at the officer for a few seconds and then slapped her file closed as she stood up, "Yes, take her to Arkham Hospital."

I looked up at her as she walked towards the door, "Thank you. Thank you. I can't wait to tell him."

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me, "I didn't say you would be able to see him. I doubt they will let anyone but doctors see him for a very long time."

My smile disappeared, "But you said you are sending me to Arkham Hospital."

She adjusted her stance and let out a sigh, like she was annoyed by me, "Yes, I'm sending you there because, even if you truly didn't do anything, being in a willing and serious relationship with someone like Mr. Fleck is very concerning. I think there may be an underlying issue."

I jerked at my handcuffs, which only caused me to hurt my wrists, but I ignored the pain, "There is no 'issue'. We are in a relationship. I love him. He needs to know about this."

"Like I said. Very concerning," she said this talking more to herself than to me. Then she actually responded to me, "If and how Mr. Fleck finds out will be up to Dr. Brandt. He is the doctor that will personally be over Mr. Fleck's case. I'm sure you can talk to the doctor about it when you meet with him," then she walked out of the room.

As soon as she did, the officer came into the room, unchained me from the table, and ushered me to a police vehicle.

*  
*

Once we arrived at Arkham Hospital, they put me in an assessment room, which looked pretty much exactly like the interrogation room at the GCPD. 

Everything was white. The walls and the floor. The table and chairs were shiny metal and were welded to the ground. The table also had a bar welded to it so they could attach handcuffs to it, but they didn't do that for me. They just let me sit in the chair with my hands cuffed to themselves. The door was closed and a security guard stood outside of the room. I could hear him talking to a female mental health tech, obviously flirting with her. 

It wasn't too long before two psychiatrist came into the room and sat down across from me, one male and one female. The male doctor was holding the file that Dr. Mason had when she met with me.

He thumbed through the file, while occasionally looking up at me a few times. He was of average build, tall, and his face looked like it had been chiseled by a Greek or Roman sculptor - very sharp features. His blue eyes were piercing and his medium-length, sandy-blonde hair was layered and parted a tad to the right side of his head. I would be lying if I said he wasn't attractive, but I would eventually find out just how ugly he really was. 

"So, Lenora Blake. Hm, that last name sounds oddly familiar," he was talking more to himself than me, "I'm Dr. Brandt. My colleague and I are here to set up a plan for you while you stay with us."

I put my hands flat on the table, "Before we do all of that, can I please see Arthur. I'm sure you already met with him. I need to talk to him. Just for a moment. A minute. Please."

He finally actually looked at me, "I can't let you see Mr. Fleck. He is very dangerous."

I shook my head, "Not to me. Please, I'm... Him and I are together. I need to see him."

He was looking at the file again as I spoke and he suddenly let out a very concerned 'oh'. He passed a paper to the female doctor; she looked over it and then eyed Dr. Brandt.

"I see, well," he put the paper back in the file and closed it, "I think we will do this tomorrow morning, a lot to discuss. Right now, I think our first course of action is to get you to your room so you can get some rest."

"Can I please see Arthur?" I practically begged as he called the security guard into the room, as if it would really make him change his mind.

The security guard - a tall, overly-muscled man whose face was mostly occupied by a dark black beard, but then had a completely razor-shaved head - pulled me out of my seat by the arm and practically dragged me behind him. He looked like he should be a marine, not a lowly security guard at a hospital. 

As I tried to pull away from him, as I was completely able to walk on my own - he had no reason to pull me along like this - I begged, "Please, take me to Arthur before you put me in my room. I just need to tell him something."

"Yeah, okay, and while we're at it, let's just go ahead and take you out to dinner and a movie real quick. You'd like that wouldn't you?" He let out a fake laugh, "We don't do what you wanna do, babycakes. We do what the doctors want you to do. They want you in your room, so you are going to your room. Now." His hand tightened around my arm.

"Please, I will do anything to see him. Just for a few minutes."

His hand loosened slightly and he stopped walking to turn to me, which stopped me in my tracks, "Anything?"

I looked him directly in the eyes, our faces were inches apart, "Anything. Just let me see him."

He only moved his eyes, looking away from me as if he was contemplating his options. Plotting. I bit my lip, internally screaming for him to say yes. 

He smiled, "Okay, I'll hold you to that." He let go of my arm, turned on his heels and started walking again. 

I smiled at my accomplishment of changing his mind - not even worried about what the consequence of me promising him 'anything' was - and kept up a good pace behind him. Now that I was going to see Arthur, I relaxed a bit and started to take in my surroundings. 

The walls were white, but it was easy to see stains of old damage on many of the walls. Like they were bruised. What was the damage from? Was it mold? Water damage? Blood? Blood wasn't a crazy guess. They did keep some of the criminally insane here at the hospital - the ones that Blackgate could not deal with. I could already sense how haunting this place was, no matter how white they painted it; like a lot of horrible things happened here.

I kept walking before I realized that the guard had stopped at a door a few feet back and started unlocking it, "Where the fuck ya goin'?"

His harsh voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I quickly made my way back to his side. My heart started to pound as he messed with the lock on the door. I was ready to see Arthur, tell him the news and see his reaction. However, my stomach also twisted a bit. Hopefully he would react positively. 

The guard finally opened the door, but I was greeted with an empty room. There was only a bed, a toilet, and a small barred window. Before I could say anything, he pushed me so forcefully that I fell onto the ground. 

I stumbled to get up from the floor, "B-but you said..."

"Don't worry your crazy little head. I'll take you to see him, but I can't damn well disobey Dr. Brandt's orders while he is here. I'll come back in a few hours before my shift is over."

And with that, he slammed the door shut, locked it, and left. I sat down on the bed and looked around at my new environment - curious as to how long I would be kept here.

*  
*

The horrible screeching of the door opening called me from my sleep. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep. I definitely didn't plan on sleeping. I had been sitting on the bed and thinking about things - mostly playing scenarios in my head of how Arthur would react to the news I had and fantasizing about raising a child with Arthur - but I must have laid down at one point during my daydreaming and drifted off to sleep. 

"Hurry the fuck up outta bed. We gotta be fucking quick before my replacement shows up."

I quickly jumped into a standing position and made my way towards the guard. The sudden change in elevation caused the blood to rush to my head and my vision became a little fuzzy, so I grabbed the doorframe and leaned against it to keep my balance. 

I felt the guard grab onto my arm and he jerked me out of the room, almost pulling my arm out of socket. Even after my sight recovered and I told him I could walk on my own, he pulled me along behind him. We went through many halls, made a few turns, and entered several restricted areas before he said anything.

"You will only have 5 minutes to talk to him, so you better get out what you gotta say. Remember, you said you'd do anything for this, so you better pay up when the time comes or things will get ugly between you and me - fast."

We finally made it to a door. It was a huge, thick metal door that only had a slot, which was currently locked, that was only big enough to fit a food tray through. The guard started going on about how he already handcuffed Arthur to his bed and there was no way in hell he was going to take the handcuffs off of him, but I stopped listening to him at some point. The only thing I could think of was seeing Arthur and having him in my arms again. 

Once the lock on the door clicked, I looked down at my cuffed hands and pulled them as far apart as the cuffs would allow, "Can you please uncuff me at least?"

He held onto the door handle, preparing to open the door, "If I do that, you owe me two anythings."

I looked up at him, "Okay, yes, whatever. Just please take them off."

He chuckled deviously to himself and proceeded to remove the cuffs from my hands. As I looked down at my hands and rubbed the pain from my wrists, he reached for the door again and opened it. 

I could have sworn that my heart stopped as my eyes traveled from my hands to the room, which my eyes quickly scanned. It looked exactly like the one I was in, but it didn't have a window. My eyes finally laid their sights on a man sitting on the floor, his side propped up against the bed with his hands cuffed to the frame of it. At first, he was looking down at the ground, so I took in his form. They already had him in the white hospital uniform, which was horribly baggy on him. His hair was greasy and disheveled and I could see the shadows of bruising on the side of his face. There was also some dried blood under his nose and on his chin. The SWAT team must of beat him into unconsciousness.

He slowly lifted his head towards the door and, once our eyes met, my vision was immediately blurred by tears, "Arthur."

His beautiful eyes lit up at the sight of me and he straighten his sitted posture, "Anon? Yo--"

I threw myself down onto my knees on the ground beside him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He couldn't reciprocate by wrapping his arms around me, but he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. I squeezed him tighter as I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

Only hours ago, we were at the abandoned apartment building. Free. And now we were both locked in these dirty- white walls with a very uncertain future. I was really worried about what they were going to do to him. He admitted to killing 3 people and there were two others that they didn't know of yet. Or maybe they did know by now. I couldn't be sure. All I knew is that, seeing him in this room, I had this gut-wrentching feeling that he would never see the outside world again. He would know nothing but these walls for the rest of his life.

As embarrassing as it was, I began to cry. At first, I tried to hold back my sobs, but my eyes and throat began to ache - until I could no longer fight it. My shoulders shook as I sobbed and Arthur pulled back from me to look me in the eyes. 

_Why am I being so emotional? Maybe... Maybe it is my hormones being out of whack because... I'm pregnant._

He gave me a look of concern, "Are you okay?"

_No. No I'm not. Part of me is happy - I have amazing news to share with you, but at the same time... this happiness is slowly being snuffed out by my fear of the unknown. Part of me is terrified. Terrified of what they are going to do to you. What if you are excited about this baby, but then you are never allowed to meet him or her? Could they do that? Could they really keep him away from his child like that?_

My breath was shaky as I filled my lungs with air, trying to calm myself. I held the air in for a few seconds before I exhaled. 

My lack of response caused Arthur to frown, "Did anyone hurt you?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm just worried about a lot of things...everything."

He sighed, "Well, things didn't go as planned, but we will figure something out."

"Do you know what happened to Sean?"

Arthur merely shook his head.

"So, did you meet Dr. Brandt? Did he tell you anything?"

I saw annoyance flicker in his eyes as he looked up at the guard that stood in the opened doorway, his body facing us sideways so that he could keep an eye on us and the hallway at the same time.

His eyes returned to me, "I didn't really pay attention to him, love. He doesn't have anything to say that interests me."

"I met him tonight as well. He wouldn't let me talk to you."

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Then, how are you here now?"

I motioned my head towards the guard, "I bribed him."

"What?!" He growled out in disapproval, "What did he make you do."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Nothing yet. I owe him something." Due to him already being upset with this news, I decided not to mention that I owed the guard two things. 

He pulled at his handcuffs, "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"I had to do something. I have something important to tell you, but they weren't going to let me see you - not even for a minute. Honestly, this may be my one and only chance to see you for....who knows how long."

He pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, "You don't know what he is going to ask you to do. You can't do things like this. You are mine. I can't have anyone tou--..."

I interrupted him, "Don't think like that."

His eyes shot open, "You really don't think it's a possibility? Do you think he is just going to ask you to bake him some cookies?"

I pulled away from him and pressed my hands against my temples, in fustration, tears daring to escape my eyes again, "Please Arthur, I don't want to argue right now. I don't have very long before he takes me back to my room and I really need to tell you something."

He rolled his shoulders, as if trying to loosen the anger and tension and make them fall off his body. I could visibly see him work at softening his expression and look at me calmly. 

"I...I'm sorry. What is it you have to tell me?"

I began to figit with anxiety, "I don't know how you'll feel about it. We never really talked about anything like this before. I'm a little worried, but I think you will be happy. Maybe? I hope so... I just didn't expect this." I sighed with a hint of fustration at myself for rambling.

Arthur let out a small laugh, a sound that gently cut through my anxiety, as he tried to reach out and grab my hand with his, which was completely unsuccessful due to the cuffs, "Anon, of course I'll be happy."

I reached out and grabbed his hand with one of mine, "You don't even know what it is that I have to tell you, so how do you know?"

His eyes were firmly locked on mine, "As long as you are mine, I will forever be happy."

I placed my free hand on my chest, which was burning with a calming warmth, and slowly moved it down to my stomach. It's funny how, before tonight, touching my stomach was usually just something I did - whether it was because I was feeling hungry or nauseous - but now it gave me this amazing feeling of love. Like I was carrying a special package and waiting ever so patiently to see what was inside. How can you come to feel so deeply for something when you have only been aware of its existence for a few hours? Would Arthur latch on this feeling just as quickly as I did? Or would he need more time?

"Anon, love, you're keeping me on edge."

_Gosh, how long have I been sitting here in silence? How much longer do I have before the guard comes in to take me away?_

I shook myself from my thoughts, "Sorry, sorry." I adjusted my seated position and forced a one-sided smile, "I found out tonight that I---I'm pregnant."

He looked at me in disbelief, "Pregnant?" The disbelief slowly changed to a blank stare, which almost caused me to plummet back into my anxiety all over again, before he spoke up again, "Is the baby...mine?"

I let out a sharp breath to stifle a nervous laugh, "Oh, Arthur, of course," I caressed his cheek with my hand, "you're going to be a father, sweetheart."

His hand, that was locked with mine, tightened gently as the corners of his mouth pulled into a smile, "I'm going to be...a father."

Seeing his smile brought a real, effortless smile to my face, "So, you're happy?"

He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips, "You shouldn't even have to ask. Of course I am! Do you know if it's a girl or boy yet?"

I shook my head.

His smile slightly faded, "I never thought someone would love me enough... I never thought I would have the chance to be a father. I just.... I just hope I'm a good father."

I hugged my arms around his neck and I laid down my head on his shoulder, "You will be. If they give you the chance to be...you will. I don't doubt that one bit."

He rubbed his cheek against the top of my head, "Love, we will get out of here. I pro--"

Suddenly, there was a pull on my arm, "Times up."

As the guard jerked me up from the floor, I heard Arthur curse at him, "Don't fucking touch her!"

The guard chuckled, "You can't do shit locked up to your bed," once we made it outside the room, he turned to Arthur with his hands on the door, "and you are so right - I'm definitely not going to ask her to bake me cookies."

The guard slammed the door closed and I could hear Arthur struggling against his handcuffs and yelling out more curses and threats until the distance silenced him. 

*****The next morning, still part of Anon's flashback*****

I was taken back to the assessment room early the next morning. I was terribly tired from lack of sleep and I desperately wanted to be back in the bed - even if that bed was in a bleak hospital room. However, I knew that talking to Dr. Brandt could be beneficial. I was hoping I could make some sort of deal with him to make it possible for me to see Arthur again. Maybe even set up some sort of schedule so I could see him on a regular basis. 

I was in the room by myself for a while before Dr. Brandt came in and sat across from me. He had the same file from yesterday in hand, but he didn't bother opening it. 

"So, Ms. Blake, you are willingly in a relationship with Mr. Fleck, AKA Joker, and currently pregnant with his child?"

I nodded my head, "Y-yes. Please, if I'm going to be admitted here for the time being, is there a way I can see Arthur?"

"I'm afraid not. He is very dangerous and can't be trusted."

"He isn't dangerous. Not to me. Please, he is the father this child. I need to be able to see him. I feel safer when I'm with him."

Dr. Brandt sat back in his chair, "Well, I think I can help you with that Ms. Blake. Your feelings are quite common with things like Stockholm Syndrome or codependency. I haven't met with you enough to officially diagnose you yet, but I feel very strongly that you are suffering from one of these. So, I want to go ahead and start treatment - to help you get away from those feelings. Then you will see what a horrible path it would be, to be in a relationship with such a dangerous man, and you can get back to having a normal life."

"Stockholm Syndrome? He never kidnapped me. He never kept me locked up. That makes no sense." 

I didn't make a comment about the codependency because I have had several doctors diagnose me with this behavioral condition before and I didn't want him to give him any ammunition against me. 

"Like I said, I don't have enough information to diagnose anything yet, but my treatment plan will be the same. No matter what the problem is."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "And the treatment plan would be?"

"Electroshock therapy."

"W-wha--," my bottom jaw dropped as he called the guard into the room, "T-that will hurt the baby, won't it?"

He smiled, "A happy coincidence, but I am doing this to make you better. I think that electroshock therapy will really help reset your brain. You are young; it won't damage your brain too badly. You might suffer from some temporary memory loss, but I don't anticipate any serious or long term problems."

As soon as the guard, who was different from the one I dealt with last night, grabbed onto my arm, I jerked myself away and slammed my fists on the table, "No, I do not consent to this treatment! You can't do this!"

The guard started to fight with me to get me out of the room. He was, of course, way bigger than me so it didn't take long for him to gain control of me and start leading me out of the room. 

As I kicked and screamed that he couldn't do this, Dr. Brandt smirked, "As if I'm going to let that Fleck spawn be born. Gotham will thank me."

I did everything in my power to get away from the guard. At one point, I was so close to successfully slipping from his grasp, but he grabbed my hair and pulled me back. He decided to call for backup, a tech that came armed with lorazepam, to knock me out. Almost as soon as the liquid hit my bloodstream, I started going limp. The guard picked me up and carried me the rest of the way to a treatment room.

****End of Anon's flashback****

**⚠️Mentionings of miscarriage and  
suicide in this next section, but nothing super detailed⚠️**

Dr. Brandt ordered the nurses to perform the electroshock therapy on me a few times a week for several weeks as part of my treatment plan. It didn't take long for me to suffer a miscarriage. 

No matter how short-lived the pregnancy was, the loss of the baby completely shattered my world. And I had to suffer the loss completely alone. They wouldn't let me see or talk to Arthur. I wasn't even sure if he was aware of the miscarriage - they wouldn't tell me if they informed him or not. 

I could only keep begging to see Arthur for so long. After a while, it was clear they would never let me see him and I gave up asking.

Once I stopped asking about Arthur, Dr. Brandt considered his "therapy" a success and assigned me to a psychiatrist for counseling and medication management. However, I never cooperated with my psychiatrist and I never took my medication. It got to the point where they had to forcefully administer my medication. They were forced to use extreme measures to administer my medication because I became extremely combative; they ended up sedating me every time. 

I'm not sure what medication they were giving me, but it made me feel extremely hallow, even more so than I already felt after losing the baby and hope that I would ever see Arthur again. I felt like a zombie. I also suffered from terrible nightmares that I struggled to wake up from. Sometimes, I would wake up, but I would suffer delusions and hallucinations that made me believe I was still trapped in the nightmare. It was horrible. My psychiatrist considered this a side affect of PTSD from being controlled by Arthur, instead of the medication, and dealt with this by putting me on MORE medication. This only exasterbated my problems and I eventually became more violent than I ever have been before in my life. 

In the very beginning of my stay at Arkham Hospital, they would give me free time in the recreational room with some of the other patients. However, my newfound violence eventually made me hard to deal with - hard to control. I attempted to escape every chance I got - to try and find Arthur - and when they successfully thrawted my plans, I would try to fight my way out of their grasp. There was one situation that made things spiral dangerously out of control. 

During this particular attempt to escape, several other patients escaped along with me and it lead to a full on riot. The few patients that escaped behind me ended up releasing even more patients, some of which were very dangerous. This lead to the severe injury of a handful of nurses and the death of one doctor. 

They blamed me, but honestly... It was their fault. They treat me and all of the other patients here like science experiments. Also, most of the techs are super irresponsible and don't do what they should be doing - I have seen many techs lock themselves in closets for a shot of drugs or a quick fuck when they should be working with patients.

Months after they started keeping me in my room 24/7, I attempted suicide a few weeks ago. Isolation like this isn't good for a healthy person. Now, take a drug addict that is severely depressed because she basically lost everything and is on a laundry list of medications. But my psychiatrist still acted surprised that I would try to off myself. She acted as if I just needed to work through some stuff, which would cause me to have some kind of break through, and I would finally be able to leave Arkham Hospital ago back to my life. 

But my life wasn't out there. It was here, in Arkham Hospital, but they kept me separate from him. And I didn't want to live like that anymore...


	2. Tomorrow

"So, what news do you have for me today, Betty?"

My question was met with silence, which was not like Betty. Ever since I became, um, "friends" with Betty, she would wait until I woke in the morning to tell me the things that the voices told her. This happened every morning, like clockwork.

She would update me on what the voices told her about special events that were going on in other far away places or about what the weather would be like for the day. I determined that none of the voices ever went to school for meteorology because they were wrong almost every single time.

_Ha-ha._

Honestly, it would be quicker to list what they didn't tell her and whatever they told her, she had to tell someone. For most people, her endless chatting would drive them crazy. Actually, she drove a lot of people crazy. All of the guards, nurses, techs, and doctors hated dealing with her - which is probably why she was kept in the same area as me. This area was set aside for the patients that they didn't want to deal with, for whatever reason. However, it really didn't bother me too much. Maybe that was because of the loneliness. The emptiness. 

So, it got to the point where, after I woke up, I would go ahead and ask her for the news. She was going to tell me anyways, so I might as well try to make it a pleasurable experience for both of us. Someone was actually being nice to her and I was able to distract myself from, well, everything else.

"What's the news, Betty?"

Still nothing. 

I stood up and made my way over to the vent, kneeling down and placing my face all the way to the ground so that my cheek was touching the cold flooring. Through the slits in the vent, I could see just a tiny bit of her room - at least enough to see any shadows of movement if she was walking around. I didn't see anything.

"Betty? Are you okay?"

Still nothing.

Suddenly, I heard the lock of the door to my room click. I quickly stood up and backed myself into the corner. My eyes locked onto the door and I realized that it was just the lock of the tray slot that clicked open, not the lock of the actual door. I relaxed a little. 

I saw the eyes of the usual morning guard peek at me through the now opened tray slot, "You gonna eat today?"

I didn't answer.

"You know if you refuse to eat again today, that'll make three days that you haven't eaten. I'll have to bring the nurses in here so they can force feed ya."

I stayed silent.

He huffed, "Fine, I'll be back with 'em after my round."

Before he could close the slot, I yelled out, "Wait!"

He growled, "You already made your decision!"

"No. What happened to Betty? The woman in the room next to me. I don't hear her talking."

I could see his cheeks poke up from a smirk, "The silence is music to the ears, ain't it? Her family was complainin' about the progress of her treatment, so Dr. Brandt promised to increase their efforts, but it looks like she couldn't take the extra amps," he laughed, "he probably did it on purpose because of how annoying she was."

_Was...?_

My shoulders dropped, "What do you mean?"

"She's dead, so enjoy the silence," his answer was sharp and cold. He slammed the tray slot closed, locked it, and moved on to the next room.

I looked down at the vent as I slid my body down against the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around my legs, and rested my chin on my knee.

_Betty didn't deserve to die. God, I have got to get out of here. One way or another._

I raised my head up and looked around the room. As a result of being deemed violent and a suicide-risk, they provided me with the bare minimum to avoid the chance of me hurting myself or someone else. I only had a metal bed and toilet, both welded to the floor, a small amount of toilet paper, and my white hospital shirt and pant outfit. I had no pillow, blanket or anything else I could turn into a weapon. Even the drawstring in my pants had been removed, so I had to gather the waistband of my pants together and tie it into a knot to keep my pants from falling down all of the time. 

I scanned the room a few times before an idea in my head clicked. My eyes zoned in on the toilet. If it were to overflow, they would have to move me into a different room while they cleaned it up. This would give me a chance to do...something.

I jumped up, walked over to the toilet, took the toilet paper, unrolled it from the tube, and stuffed it into the toilet. I used up all of the paper, but it was obvious that it would not keep the toilet from flushing, so I stripped off my shirt and stuffed that into the toilet, as deep as it would go. Once I hit the the flush lever a few times, I slipped off my pants and placed them on the floor at the door, to keep the water from flooding into the hallway. The longer they were unaware of what was going on, the more water would fill up the room which would make it longer for them to clean it up. 

And it worked. I stood there in my undergarments and kept flushing the toilet, which made it draw more and more water that overflowed onto the floor. I carried out my plan for quite a long time. It wasn't like the guard was actually concerned about me not eating, so there was no reason for him to rush. As long as I ate before his shift was over, there would be no consequences for him.

When the guard opened the door, all of the water rushed out into the hallway, completely soaking his boots. 

He gave me a death-glare, "What the fuck did ya do, you crazy bitch?!"

He came at me like an angry bull, which I successfully dodged, causing him to trip in the process, and ran towards the door. The two nurses, that were with the guard, stood there ground and tried to bar me from exiting the room, but I was desperate to get out and I had absolutely nothing to lose so I ran at them as fast as I could. I did knock one of the nurses over, but the other one grabbed onto my arms and tried to push me back. I eyed a syringe that was in the chest pocket of her scrubs. I fought with her and eventually got my hands on the syringe, pulled the cap off with my teeth, and stabbed it into her eye. She screeched out in pain as she reached for her face; I easily pushed her aside and ran as fast as I could. 

I really had no idea where to go. The halls here were so confusing and it had been quite a while since I was outside of that horrible, suffocating room, but I knew I had to keep moving. They had cameras everywhere, so I knew someone was already aware of my escape and it wasn't too long before I heard the guard yelling my name, as if I was just going to play "Marco Polo" with him. Surely he already called for backup. I made a few more frantic turns down the maze-like halls before a guard jumped out of a room, grabbed me, and pulled me back into the room with him.

He threw me further into the room so that he could slam the door shut and lock it. The first thing I noticed was that one of the walls in the room was covered in screens, this had to be a security room. I hurriedly looked around for anything that I could as a weapon. The only thing I found was a pen, so I grabbed it and turned towards the guard as I held it out in defense. The guard was younger than most of the other guards I dealt with; he was more around my age. He had firey red hair and green eyes. He also had the shadow of a red beard on his chin, he must have recently shaved. I looked at his name tag and it said "C. Monaghan". I definitely never seen or heard of this guard before.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

The guard replied in a surprisingly calm voice, "That guard just reported on his walkie-talkie that Lenora Blake escaped from her room. Are you her? Are you Anon?"

I was completely thrown off by his calm demeanor and the fact that he actually called me by my preferred name. No one did that around here.

I presses my lips into a hard line, "Why?"

"Tell me, what is Sean's last name?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Sean? Are you talking about Sean Romano?"

"You must be her," he moved towards me until his chest hit the tip of the pen and then leaned his head further towards me until our faces were just inches apart, "You have different colored eyes - just like he said you would."

I pushed him away and he didn't try to come back towards me, "You know Sean? He's okay? What is going on?"

On the other side of the door, there were sounds of people running down the hall, which caused the guard to glance at the door, "Look, I don't have the time to explain. You need to let me put you into a room - it will be in the section that I'm assigned to, so no one else will be checking there to find you.

Even though this man mentioned Sean's name, I wasn't about to just willingly go back to being locked in a room. I couldn't risk it.

"Yeah, I don't think so."

"If you trust Sean, you can trust me. I'm working for him. Well, with him. I technically work for Joker, but Sean is the one at the helm since Joker is locked up tight."

I took a step towards him, "Y-you work for Joker?" It was weird calling Arthur that.

He nodded his head, "Yes, and Sean has a plan to break him out tomorrow night, but now it looks like we will be breaking you out too."

"Breaking out?"

The guard took his gun out of his holster and held it out towards me, "I really need to get you somewhere before someone else tries to come in here. To show you that I truly mean you no harm, please take this gun and keep it on you while you're in the room. That way you can protect yourself if anything goes wrong and someone else finds you. I promise, I will come to you later tonight and update you on everything."

I dropped the pen and slowly reached out for the gun, worried he was using this as an easy way to grab onto me, but I needed all of this to be true - so I went out on a limb and made the decision to trust him. I grabbed onto the gun and he released his grip from it - he was really handing it over to me. I looked down at it and I caught a glimpse of my undergarments.

_Shit, I am basically naked._

I crossed my arms across my chest, poorly covering myself, which made the guard look away awkwardly, "Okay, let's go."

*  
*

I paced in the room that C. Monaghan placed me in. He snuck me in here hours ago, so I was left alone with my thoughts and the anticipation of things to come for way too long. I still held the gun in my hand that he gave me for protection just in case he was lying. He said he was working with Sean and they were planning on breaking Arthur out of the hospital tomorrow night. And now me. Why now? Was breaking me out not part of the original plan? 

My thoughts were interrupted by the door clicking open. I readied the gun, but quickly put it down when I saw the familiar red hair. The young guard that was helping me gave me a shy smile and then threw a bundle of fabric at me - a hospital outfit.

_Oh my gosh, you sweet man._

I quickly threw the clothes on, "Thank you... What's your name? I only see that it starts with a 'C'."

"Whatd'ya mean?" I pointed at the embroidered name on his shirt and he glanced down at it, "Oh no, Sean gave me a fake ID when I applied for the job here, so I could be his man on the inside. My name is actually Michael."

"Wow, that seems....like a lot. He really made you do that?"

He shrugged, "Just the easiest and less suspensious way to get someone you trust in on the inside."

"Well, thank you, Michael. So, what is going?"

Michael went on to tell me that Sean had some contacts that were able to get him out of blackgate shortly after he was arrested. After that, Sean somehow made contact with Arthur - by some way that Michael was unsure of - and started working on a plan to get us (Arthur and I) out of the Arkham State Hospital. However, those plans were put on the back burner when Dr. Brandt told Arthur that I committed suicide. Arthur, of course, didn't believe him at first and told Sean to find out what he could. 

Sean pulled off many different stunts to find out what happened. The only file he was able to dig up stated that I was indeed deceased and he couldn't find anything else out. As time went on, they pretty much accepted that I was dead. 

Apparently, Arthur got really bad as time went on. He was killing techs, nurses, and doctors left and right - more focused on seeking revenge than trying to escape. Arthur blamed them for my death. Eventually, they put him under serious lockdown (even more so than before). They basically just kept him in a room and only gave him the very basic needs, but they didn't try medicating him or force feeding him if he chose not to eat. 

Michael said he started working here a few months ago when Sean decided to move forward with putting a plan in place to get Arthur out - even though Arthur was not really focused on getting out anymore. Michael briefly saw Arthur in person about a few weeks ago. He said he looked in pretty bad shape and Sean knew they had to get him out sooner, rather than later.

About a week ago, Sean told Michael to see if there was any chance he could find me. Even though Sean doubted I would be found, after all of this time, it was his last ditch effort to do so. He wanted to find me 'for Joker's sake'.

"Do you think we will really get out of here tomorrow?"

Michael nodded his head, "Yes, Sean has been working on his plan for months and he has quite a few people involved. I also already told him that I found you and he already came up with an additional plan to make sure we get both of you out. Actually, my shift is almost over. So, I need to move you somewhere else to keep them from finding you before tomorrow night."

"What is he like?"

"Who?" Michael was obviously confused by my off-topic question.

"Ar--," I bit my lip, "Joker...what is he like?"

Michael shook his head, "I couldn't say, I only caught a glimce of him. I haven't actully talked to him yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abrupt ending... I know. I hope you all enjoyed the little Easter egg I added.
> 
> And I know... basically no Arthur/Joker in this chapter, but that will be corrected in the next chapter.


	3. Laughing

I was curled up in the metal bed with my eyes closed. Ever since Michael left, I tried to force myself to sleep - to make time go by faster and also as a way to ignore my intense hunger, since it had been several days since I had eaten anything and the nurses were never given the chance to force feed me. 

Most of all though, I wanted to sleep away the crazy array of emotions I was feeling: Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Amusement. Boredom. 

I wanted to hide away from my thoughts until Michael came back for me, but I just kept playing all of these unknown scenarios in my head. What will we have to do to get out of here? What if the plan goes wrong? What if we never make it out? If we do make it out, what will happen when I see Arthur? It has been almost a whole year since we've seen each other and he has been led to believe that I've been dead for a majority of that time. Would we be able to pick up where we left off? Or would we be on completely different pages now? What if we couldn't get back to where we were?

I pressed my hands against my temples and squeezed my eyes together. All of these thoughts were going to drive me crazy. 

_When is Michael going to get here?_

I was able to force myself into a few periods of restless sleep, but most of my time was spent laying there trying to ignore my hunger, feelings, and thoughts. Until I finally heard the sound of the door opening. This was the first time I was actually happy to hear that sound.

Michael walked in with a paper grocery sack, closing the door behind him, "Hey, I guess everything went okay?"

I sat up on the bed, "Yes, no one came down this hall at all today. Well, a janitor did earlier, but he basically just mopped the hall and I never saw him again. He never even tried unlocking the door.

Michael held out the sack, "Good. There are some street clothes in here. Go ahead and change."

I took the bag from him and then he automatically turned around, so that his back was facing me.

I began changing my clothes, "So, what is the plan."

"Pretty easy actually. Sean got some forged discharge papers. So, we are going to go to the front desk and explain that there was a mistake - you were supposed to be released, but they skipped over you somehow. As long as the receptionist doesn't catch on, we are out of here."

_Hmm... That does seem easy._

Once I changed into the clothes that Michael gave me, I let him know that I was decent and he turned back around to face me.

"Okay, let's get this over with," he reached out to take hold of my arm, to make it look like he was escorting me. As soon as we left the safety of the room, I hung my head low to help avoid anyone noticing me. We walked through a maze of halls before we came up to the admission and registration desk. 

A young woman was sitting at the desk and her eyes quickly lit up at the sight of Michael, "Well, well... If it isn't the bowling champ."

Michael laughed as he rested one elbow on the desk and leaned towards her, "Aw now, I only won because I had my lucky charm with me."

The woman blushed and then looked at me, as if she just realized I was there, "Who is this?"

"Oh, well, when I was checking on my files before my rounds, I noticed that this woman was supposed to be discharged today, but it looks like no one did anything about it," he put the file in front of the receptionist, "her discharge papers are in there and everything."

The receptionist opened the file and took a few minutes reviewing everything, looking up at me from time to time. Michael talked to her and made her laugh a few times, I assumed he did this to keep her from paying too close attention to the forged documentation that was in the file. The longer this went on, the more fidgety I became. 

Finally, she shook her head, "How in the heck did that happened?" She looked at me apologetically, "I am so sorry. Let me get some stuff documented and then I will let Michael get you out of here!"

I simply smiled at her. This was working so perfectly, so I was paranoid that the smallest word from me would give everything away. Once she did everything she had to do, she smiled widely at me, congratulated me on finishing my treatment, and expressed her hopes that I would do well with all of my future endeavors. Michael flirted with the receptionist a bit more before he grabbed onto my arm and led me out the front door. 

_Thats it? I'm out of here?_

Michael leaned in, ever so slightly, towards me, "See, told ya we would get ya out."

"What about Joker?" It was still weird to call Arthur that, but I thought it would be best to call him that since that's what Michael called him.

We walked outside and it was terribly cold, the clothes he gave me did absolutely nothing to protect me from it. 

"There are a couple of guys waiting with Sean. I'm going to take you to Sean and then I'm going to sneak these other guys in and we will carry out the plan to get Joker out. Don't worry, we will get him out."

We eventually neared a solid black van, that was parked a reasonable distance from the hospital in a spot that was completely devoid of light, and the sliding side door opened just as we came up to it. Sean was crouched at the door with his hand on the handle. He was the one that opened it.

"Anon! I can't believe it! I was sure th---"

I jumped towards Sean so I could wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. I could sense how awkward this sudden physical affection made him, but I didn't care. He just saved me from hell. I sensed a couple of people exit the van as I hugged onto Sean, but I was too focused on this moment to care who they were.

"Thank you, Sean. Thank you," I pulled away so I could look at him, "Michael told me that you had him look for me even though you thought I was dead. I'll never be able to thank you enough for doing that. For getting me out of there. It was horrible."

He pulled me into the van and closed the sliding door, "Well, don't thank me just yet. We have to stick around until the guys get Joker out. There is still plenty of time for us to get caught."

I sat down in the lone middle seat that was still attached to the van. They must have taken all of the other seats out (except for the driver and front passenger seats) to allow for more space and mobility inside of the van. Sean remained crouched on the floor of the van next to the door, so he could keep an eye out and open it as soon as needed. 

As I looked around the van more, hugging my body to try to retain any body heat that I could, I noticed that there was a guy sitting in the driver's seat. I didn't recognize him, but no one tried to make any introductions either, so I decided not to worry about it - I'm sure I would find out who he was later. 

There was so much I wanted to ask Sean, but I knew he was trying to stay focused, so I bit my tongue and sat there in silence for a long time. Too long. I knew it was too long when Sean began to look out the window, almost obsessively.

"Should they be here by now?"

My question was met with silence and my anxiety started to spill over into a sense of dread. Something was wrong. My cold body began to tremble. My chest began to feel heavy and it felt like I was getting less and less oxygen with every breath, causing my brain to send signals to my heart and lungs that screamed:

_'Beat faster!' ... 'Breathe faster!!'_

Now my body was hurting itself by working too hard. I honestly didn't need anymore oxygen than I was already getting. I was just having an anxiety attack. I hung my head down, closed my eyes and started counting my breaths, in attempt to slow them down. 

My body jumped when I felt something press against my shoulder, _"Anon, love, are you okay?"_

My eyes shot open as I jerked my head towards the voice that just spoke to me, "Arthur?"

But it wasn't Arthur. It was Sean. A very concerned looking Sean. I followed the line of his body from his head, to his neck, to his shoulder, to his arm, and to his hand that was resting on my shoulder. I must have imagined Arthur was talking to me, but it was really Sean.

I shook my head slightly, "I'm sorry, Sean, what did you say?"

"I said..."

Sean was interrupted by sounds of yelling and gun shots. Sean, the man in the driver's seat, and I all looked out of the van windows, trying to assess what was going on. While the darkness was helpful to try and remain undetected, it was extremely aggravating when trying to make out what was going on. 

Sean, who apparently had the eyesight of a cat, quickly turned to the driver, "Start the fucking van! I see them!"

The driver obeyed and Sean got into his ready position to open the door. As the van hummed to life, I heard even more yelling and more gun shots, but closer than before. My stomach became twisted and I felt a wave a nausea hit me. The anxiety and anticipation were getting to be too much. 

_At least I haven't eaten in days. My stomach is too empty to actually throw up any thing._

Sean yelled at the driver again, "As soon as I open this door, you better press that pedal to the goddamn floor or we are fucking done for."

I heard the door click from Sean pressing on the button that released the door hook from the sliding door of the van. I held my breath, waiting for him to fling it open. 

"Shit, they shot someone down."

My heart dropped, "Arthur?"

He slightly shook his head, but didn't say anything. Then, he quickly flung the door open. The driver did what he was told and the van began to squeal, the smell of burnt rubber already began to invade the air. I grabbed onto my seat to brace myself for the wild ride that was about to take place. Two people threw themselves into the van. There was one more person that didn't quite make it in before the van started to move. However, Sean and one of the men that made it into the van quickly grabbed onto the guy and pulled him in. 

Sean closed the door and scanned the inside of the van as he worked on keeping himself balanced in the speeding van, "I see that they got Rodney. Anyone here get hit? Nicked?"

All three men, now seated on the floor of the van, were hanging their heads low, just focusing on catching their breath and not be thrown around by the erratic movements of the van. I inspected each one as closely as I could in the dark van. The two that were seated closest to me were dressed up as guards - one was Michael, but I wasn't sure about the other one. Then, my eyes turned to the man that sat furthest in the back of the van, who's long dark hair was covering his face from my view. He was wearing all white. Everything else around me became irrelevant. 

I kept a tight hold of the seat as I stood up. The van jerked, causing me to freeze and brace myself. Once the van was going in a straight line again, I quickly made steps towards the man in white. I heard Sean yell for me to sit back down, but I ignored him. Once I was almost to him, the driver hit the breaks, which launched me towards him. The man looked up at me just a split second before I came crashing down onto him; he was just quick enough to hold out his arms to catch me. I fell into his embrace, with such a force, that I knocked him onto his back, causing him to hit his head on the back door of the van. As I laid on top of this man, my face just inches from his, I reached up to comb his dark locks away from his eyes. 

However, before I could, he pushed me off of him harshly and sat up, "What are you doing?" His voice was so familiar, but completely empty of emotion.

I sat there, next to him, with my legs folded underneath me. I didn't try to say anything, I just reached out towards him again, but he recoiled from me further. The van took a hard turn, so we had to brace ourselves in whatever way we could.

"A-Arthur, it's me. Anon."

As soon as I said that, the man visibly turned towards me. About that time, a few police vehicles came up behind the van with their red and blue lights flashing. It still wasn't the best lighting, but it was something. The man ran his hand through his hair, combing it back, and revealing his face. The movements of his hand combing through his hair almost felt...intimate. My heart skipped when I saw those oh-so familiar features: The creases on his face, the sharp cheekbones and jawline... If only I could see the beautiful color of his eyes, but I knew it was him. It was Arthur.

I so badly wanted to throw my arms around him. It took everything in my power to stop myself from doing so, but I needed to give him time to recognize me first. He scooted closer to me as he brought up his right hand to my face and gently caressed my left cheek with his thumb, right below my eye. My body froze and I was mentally taken back to the very first night I met Arthur. He touched me exactly like this that night. He knew it was me.

"Anon...?"

And that was all it took. I scrambled into his lap, straddling him, so that I could wrap my arms around him. I held onto him tightly, as if someone was trying to pull him away from him. Then, the lights reminded me: Someone is trying to take him from me. If the police caught us, they would try. I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't going to go through that shit again. Especially not alone. 

Arthur wrapped his arms around me, pressing his fingertips against my ribs and burying his face into my neck. I heard small giggles escape his lips and his shoulders began to bounce up and down. I placed my hands on both sides of his face and pulled away from him so I could look at him. The lighting was still poor, but I caught glimpses of tears building in the corners of his eyes, daring to spill over onto his cheeks. Was it because he was trying to hold back a laughing fit? Or because he was actually that emotional from see me?

He leaned forward, planted a gentle kiss on my lips, and then pressed his forehead on mine - looking directly into my eyes and giggling as he spoke, "T-they...told me that you..."

I shook my head slightly, our foreheads still touching, "They lied. I don't know why, but they did."

His giggling began to subside, he seemed to have better control of his laughter, "Then, that means," he moved his head away from mine and looked around the van, "where is...our baby?"

And in a second, all of my happiness was weighed down by the overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness all over again. Almost like I was losing the baby a second time. But why was I surprised? They told him I committed suicide. So, of course that meant that both me and the baby died. He lost two people, not just one. Until now. Now, he had me in his arms again - I was actually alive. So, that meant the baby was still alive as well. That's what he thought, at least, because he didn't know the truth of everything that happened to me. He didn't know what happened just days after I gave him the news I was pregnant.

I absent-mindedly placed my hands on my stomach as I stammered, "I-I...W-w...T-th..."

The van took another sharp turn, so we braced ourselves by holding onto each other.

"Where is the baby, love? The baby isn't still at the hospital, right?"

"C-can we please j-just talk about this later?" I wasn't sure if everyone in the van could hear us or if they were even paying attention to us, but I didn't feel like talking about this in front them if they were. 

His eyebrows knitted together, "No, we can't. Shit, Anon, we can't just leave our child there. Do you even care?"

His words were sharp and painful. How could he ask me that? A lump began to form in my throat, so I found it hard to reply. 

He looked past me, "Sean, turn the van around!"

I didn't see Sean's face, but I could tell by his voice that he thought Arthur was completely insane, "J-Joker, we just broke you out of there. We are still being chased by the GCPD."

Arthur bared his teeth, "I don't fucking care. We have to go back and get my child. No chance I'm letting those bastards keep my child."

The van jerked again; Sean was silent as we all braced ourselves. He obviously wasn't sure how to respond. He was probably very confused as to why we were talking about a child all of a sudden. 

Tears began to flow from my eyes as I placed my hands on Arthur's chest, "We can't, Arthur. The baby isn't there. The baby..." I couldn't finish the sentence. 

Arthur looked down at me, "Spit it out, Anon! Where is the baby if it isn't at the fucking hospital!?" 

He was so angry, so I threw that anger back at him, "The baby is fucking dead, Arthur! So, don't make it seem like you're the only one that cares. I care! I have lived with this loss for almost a year! So, fuck you!" 

I pushed against his chest, trying to put some space between us, but he didn't budge. Arthur stared at me, wide-eyed, with his mouth slightly agap. 

The driver must have finally been able to lose the police because there was suddenly a deafening silence that invaded the van. There were no more sirens, no more screeching of tires, and no more yelling. 

At least, there was silence, until it was broken by the sobs that forced their way out of me. I hid my face in my hands, embarrassed that I was crying like this in front of a van full of men. My body shook from my sobs and the cold that still stuck to my skin.

I felt Arthur pull me into his embrace and I just let myself melt into him, burying my face into his shoulder and letting my tears stain his shirt. Suddenly, his shoulder started to bounce up and down and the van was filled with a mixture of sounds:

Me crying. 

Him laughing.


	4. It's Harder

Everything was awkwardly silent in the van as we, according to Sean, neared our destination. Sean was now sitting in the passenger seat and Michael was putting a temporary bandage on the other guy that was dressed as a guard because he had been nicked on the arm with a bullet during the break out. Arthur and I still sat in the very back of the van. After I stopped crying and he stopped laughing, he continued to hold me in his embrace, but no another word was spoken between the two of us. 

Our reunion had definitely been tampered by the bad news that Arthur had forced out of me. We should be happy right now, finally being reunited after being apart for so long, but we weren't. I would like to say that it wasn't what I expected, but, in truth, I never knew what to expect. Obviously, I wish it had gone better. 

The driver drove the van into a dark alleyway and parked. Arthur and I perked up our heads and watched as the driver, Michael and the other guy immediately got out of the van. 

Sean turned in his seat and looked at us, "Home, sweet home."

I pushed myself off of Arthur, "Where are we?"

"An abandoned warehouse at the port. We have been here for a couple months now and no one knows we are here. Yet."

Arthur got up, made his way to the side door of the van, opened it, and motioned me to come towards him. I obeyed and he took one of my hands in his so he could help me step out of the van before he exited himself. Sean had exited the van as well and we followed him to a single door, which we entered. 

The room we entered was decently sized and looked like your typical, bland break room. There was a kitchen area to the right, several round tables with chairs spread out in the middle of the room, a single couch that was lined up with the wall that was across from us, and vending machines to the left which had been broken so you could just reach in and grab whatever you wanted. There were also a set of double-doors across the room from where we entered and a single door by the vending machines.

Michael was already searching through the kitchen cabinets and the guy that had been nicked on the arm was sitting at one of the tables, sitting next to another guy that was patching him up, but I remembered this guy, he was the one that checked on Arthur after the riot. Probably the most surprising thing in the room was the young boy that was curled up on the couch, asleep. He looked like he was around 6-8 years old, it was hard to tell. I wondered why a young child was here.

Sean spoke as he led us over to the double doors, "This is the room that Michael, Jack, JJ, and I will stay in, for security purposes. These doors here lead out to the storage area of the warehouse that has been mostly cleared out, so it is just a huge room. We have a good-sized group of people out there ready to help the Joker in anyway needed. Take a look," he pointed at the small windows of the doors. 

Arthur went up to the windows of one door and I went to the windows of the other door. I had to stand on my tiptoes to see, but I did see the people Sean mentioned. There were quite a few of them. More than a few. Maybe 20 people. I looked over at Arthur and he was smiling like a kid on Christmas as he looked into that room of people, people that were following him. He had the attention, and control, of a group of people. His smile reminded me of the night of the riot, of how happy he was in that moment. I would never forget it. 

We both backed away from the doors and followed Sean towards the single door by the vending machines. We walked into the room, which was obviously an office, but some things had been added to make it into a makeshift bedroom. There was a desk, a bed, a nightstand, a dresser, and a small table with same chairs. There was also another door that led to a bathroom. 

Sean closed the door behind him, but kept this hand on the doorknob, "This is your room/office. I know it's pretty shabby, but we will probably need to move somewhere soon anyways. In our situation, we can't stay somewhere for too long and, honestly, we have already been here too long. I haven't found a doable replacement yet."

Arthur sat at the desk, but twirled the rotating office chair around so he could face Sean, "So, how do we get out of this situation? How do we get out of having to scurry around like rats?"

"Well, the best bet is to take over some territory of Gotham's underbelly. Fortify it with men you trust. Then we won't have to run anymore."

I sat down on the bed, "Territory?"

Sean nodded his head, "Yes, basically an area of Gotham that we can work out of. Where it looks like a legitimate business, but it ain't. People we trust will run the business and we will work in the background where we can't be seen. However, pretty much all of the territories are taken by the different crime families. So, that means..."

Arthur balled one of his hands into a fist and hit the top of the desk, "We have to take it."

"Exactly. I know which family will be the weakest for us to hit first. They own a small, but popular club. We can take them down easy," he paused, "however, the very first thing we need to do is get money. I have pulled in a lot of favors that we need to pay off. Also, Michael and Jack, have been working for free, basically. We need to get that straightened out before we do anything else."

I adjusted my position on the bed, everything Sean was saying just sounded so crazy and unreal, "Money? From where?"

"A bank," Arthur chimed in.

I must have looked horribly overwhelmed because, once Sean looked at me, he started to open the door, "We can talk more about this tomorrow. You two are no doubt exhausted and need some time to rest. We do have sandwich stuff out here, so feel free to get whatever you want. It's there for you two."

Then with that, he left, not giving us a chance to say anything in response. However, him mentioning food caused my empty stomach to grumble. I was completely past the point of starved and it almost made me feel sick. I had to eat something.

I looked at Arthur, "I'm starving. What about you? Wanna eat?"

He didn't look at me, but I saw his head shake, "No, I can't. Not right now."

I sighed in frustration, "Arthur, you need to eat. You look even skinnier than before. Please come with me and eat."

He leaned back in the chair, holding his hands against his temples, "A fucking cigarette is what I need."

I got up from the bed and made my way to the door, "I'm sure you can get one from one of the guys out there."

Arthur stood up from the chair and headed towards the bathroom, "You go on. I'll be out there later."

He shut the door, on the verge of slamming it, but I didn't care to try and try to force him to come out. So, I left, closing the door behind me. 

When I walked out, Michael and the other guy I hadn't been introduced to, who I was going to assume was Jack, were eating at one of the tables and Sean was getting a beer out of the refrigerator. I grabbed onto my left shoulder with my right hand and rubbed my tensed shoulder in a circular motion. I suddenly felt a bit... exposed. I had just spent a good amount of time crying in front of these men that I barely knew. I hated that feeling, of being so fucking vulnerable. Michael smiled at me, forcing me to realize that I just walked into a room and preceded to awkwardly stand there. So, I straightened my posture, to fake confidence, and walked over to the kitchen. I made two sandwiches, one for me and one for Arthur - for when he came out - and joined Michael and "Jack" at the table. Sean joined us slightly after.

Michael pointed at the guy beside him, "Anon, I don't think you were introduced, but this is Jack."

"Hello, Jack. Thanks for your help."

"I don't need thanks, I just need my money," he complained in a flat tone.

Michael kicked him under the table, "Shut up, Jack. You know what Sean said."

Sean gave them both a very stern look and Michael stuffed some food in his mouth.

I decided not to pry into what all of that just was, "So, if he is Jack, who is JJ? Was that the driver?"

Jack shook his head, "No, that's my son," he sounded completely annoyed by having to answer that question.

Michael pointed to the young kid on the couch, "Jack Jr., but we call him JJ."

I looked over at the boy, who was still sleeping, "Why is he here?"

Instead of answering me, Jack harshly pushed himself away from he table, grabbed his beer as he got up out of his seat, and walked away. Once he exited the door that went out to the alleyway, I shot Michael and Sean a perplexed expression.

Sean answered first, "Jack's long-time girlfriend, and JJ's mom, died from a drug overdose."

Michael interrupted, "And Jack is a shitty dad. He uses any money he gets on booze, drugs, and women."

Sean cleared his throat, "I know you don't care for him, Michael, but he is the guy you want helping you rob a bank. He is a pro." Michael just shrugged his shoulders and Sean continued on, "JJ doesn't talk much, but he is a good kid considering what he has gone through. Michael and I make sure he gets what he needs, so don't worry about him."

Even with Sean's reassurance, I still felt very uneasy about what I just learned about Jack. 

As I ate, I found out a little bit more about Michael, his experience from the night of the riot, and how he ended up teaming up with Sean. Then Sean gave me a outline of what happened after he was arrested - how he got out, how he found the warehouse, and how he made contact with all of the people that were staying in the warehouse. 

After I finished eating, I noticed Arthur never emerged from the room, so I stood up with his plate of food in hand, "I guess I need to go back in there with Arthur," I started to turn to walk away, but then paused, "oh, do either you have a cigarette and lighter I can get for him?"

"Shit," Sean reached into his jacket pocket and took out a whole pack of cigarettes and a lighter, "I meant to give these to him earlier." I started to take out a single cigarette, but Sean waved his hand at me, "No, that whole thing is for him. Take it."

I felt a little off about taking his whole pack of cigarettes and this must have been obvious in my face because Michael let out a few chuckles, "Get used to it, Anon. Anything you or Joker need, you get."

I faked a smile, thanked Sean, and made my way to the room. When I entered the room, Arthur was laying on the bed, his back facing me, so I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not. I placed the food on the nightstand, sat down next to Arthur, and rubbed his back. This went on for about a minute, so I thought he was actually asleep. 

At least, until he finally spoke, "Hmm, did anyone have a cigarette?"

"Yes," I still held the pack and lighter in my hand, so I worked on getting a cigarette out as he sat up next to me on the bed.

I held one out toward him, but he motioned a finger at me, "Smoke with me."

It had been a long time since I had a cigarette, so I didn't argue. As I placed it in my mouth, he gently grabbed the pack from me and got one for himself. After he did that, he put the pack on the bed and took the lighter from me. He lit mine first before his, just like he always did in the past. 

After a couple minutes of silence, he looked at me as he flicked away the ashes on his cigarette, "I'm sorry, about earlier. In the van."

I placed my free hand on his thigh, "It's okay. I wasn't being very forward."

"Well, you said you wanted to talk about it later. I should have just listened," he rubbed a hand across his mouth as he search for words, "I just can't... It's harder. To control myself. My emotions."

"Do you think that's because of the night of the riot? Or because of Dr. Brandt."

He shrugged his shoulders as he took a puff of his cigarette, "A mix of both, I guess. I mean, I felt different that day, leading up to the riot. Something clicked. But Dr. Brandt, he... I don't even want to talk about all the shit he put me through." 

My shoulders dropped and I hung my head a bit, which Arthur noticed and he shook his head in anger, "He put both of us through a lot of shit and I plan on making him pay. I promise I will." His voice got a little deeper as he said that and it made a chill go up my spine.

I threw my cigarette on the ground, stomped on it, and then shook his thigh lightly, "Let's get some rest."

He held his cigarette an inch from his lips and gently nodded his head as he stared at nothingness with hooded eyes. I took the cigarette out of his hand, disposed of it in the same manner as mine, and pulled on his body so that he laid down behind me so that we were spooning.

He hugged onto me tightly and kissed me on the temple, "I love you."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am using this note to be horribly shameful right now...
> 
> I have another work I will be moving over to this platform very soon. It is a collection of Joker Imagines/Oneshots, but they vary on which Joker is in the imagine/oneshot. 
> 
> So far, I have a couple stories with the Heath Ledger Joker, one story with Jerome Valeska (I know he isn't "technically" Joker in the Gotham series, but I love him so much....), and one with Arthur Fleck (of course). I am also working on one with Jared Leto's Joker. 
> 
> Anyways, I mention this because, even though I have a couple of things I am working on, I am looking for more requests! Requests are soooo fun. Sooooo, I need more requests, please. :)
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


	5. 180

I woke up in pretty much the same position I fell asleep in, on my side with my hands tucked in under my neck. It was the first time in a very long time that I slept that well. However, it didn't take too long for my senses to sharpen and I quickly noticed the cool air chilling my back. I turned slightly, just enough to look behind myself and found that the bed beside me was empty. Arthur was gone. I scanned the room to see if maybe he was sitting at the desk or somewhere else in the room. I didn't see him. Then I looked around for a clock to see what time it was, but there wasn't one. 

I slowly sat up and stretched my body. As I did that, I noticed the bathroom door was closed, leading me to assume that he was in there. I quietly called for him, but I received no response. So, I got up from the bed, walked over to the bathroom, and knocked on the door. Still nothing. I turned the knob, opened the door, and scanned the bathroom. Empty. 

_Where is he?_

Even though I didn't find Arthur, I discovered the bathroom had a small shower - a warm shower and clean clothes sounded amazing. During my stay at the hospital, the showers were always cold and they made us rush, to limit water use. Then, we would be forced to wear the nasty white hospital outfits which just canceled out the shower we just took. 

I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and found how disheveled I really looked. My hair was a greasy mess, my skin was oily, and I had dark bags under my eyes. I looked rough. So it was decided, since Arthur was no where to be found, I was going to take a shower. I made my way over the slightly tilted, wooden dresser, that was on the other side of the room, and looked through the drawers, hoping it was full of clothes. No such luck. I slammed the last drawer shut and let out an aggravated sigh.

_Shit. I need some fucking clothes. I need a fucking shower._

I forced myself to accept that the shower would have to wait and made my way out into the other room. The break room? The security room? Sean, Jack, and Michael's room? What do you call a room that is actually a break room, but is being used to house 3 men that are acting as your security? It was weird even having security. All of this was weird.

When I made it out to the other room, I only saw JJ and Michael. JJ was awake and playing on the floor with a couple of action figures he had and Michael was sitting on the couch looking at a magazine. They both looked up at me when I entered the room.

Michael smiled, "Mornin'. Sleep alright? I mean, it had to be better than sleepin' in those beds at the hospital."

"Yeah, it was," I paused, "Um, do you know where Arthur is?"

Michael looked back at his magazine, "Yeah, Sean took him and Jack sight seein'."

_Sight seeing?_

Michael glanced at me, only moving his eyes, and chuckled at my silence, "They're checking out the bank that Sean picked out to rob. They left a while ago, so they should be back anytime."

I took a few steps towards JJ, who was focused on his toys again, and kneeled down beside him, "Hello, JJ, my name is Anon."

He was a cute little boy. His light brown hair was a mess of wavy curls that ended right about where his ears were, he had big, chocolate brown eyes, and a lite pattern of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. 

He looked up at me shyly, "Hello, ma'am."

His adorable response almost made me giggle, but I stifled it because I didn't want him to think I was laughing at him, "You don't have to call me ma'am. Just call me Anon."

He shook his head, "No, ma'am, my dad will get upset if I do that."

I scrunched up my nose. I wondered why a bank robbing drunk like Jack was treating his son like a little soldier.

I smiled at him, "I'll talk to your dad about it."

JJ shot me a look of worry, quickly gathered his toys, and ran out the door that went into the alleyway. I tried to call for him to come back and even started to run after him, but Michael called out for me to stop.

"It's fine, Anon. He goes outside by himself all the time," he threw the magazine he was looking at on the couch and stood up, "and, honestly, I wouldn't talk to Jack about this. Just let the kid call you ma'am. It really isn't worth all the trouble."

I turned to look at Michael, "I thought you said anything I want, I get. What happened to that?"

He stammered, "I-I mean, y-yes, you can, but Jack will find a way to take it out on the kid somehow."

I pressed my lips into a hard line and looked back the door JJ ran out of. I wasn't going to put up with this. Not for long.

Before I could get too deep into my thoughts, the door flung open and Sean's voice invaded the silent room. Even though I heard Sean's voice, Arthur was the first one to walk in. Sean and Jack filed in shortly after. I saw that Jack was holding a suitcase, which he tossed onto one of the tables he passed. Without stopping, he went on through the doors that lead into the storage area that the group of people were occupying. 

Arthur was still wearing his white hospital outfit and looked just as disheveled as I did. As soon as he saw me, a wide grin took over his face and he quickened his pace towards me. Once he was within arms reach, he placed his hands on the sides of my waist, picked me up, and twirled me around in the air a couple of times before he set me back on the ground. I really wasn't expecting him to do that; if I remembered correctly, he never twirled me around like that before. His demeanor was a complete 180 of what it was last night. Which, of course made me happy to see, but it just threw me off a bit. 

He ran his knuckles against my right cheek, "Morning, love."

I closed me eyes for a moment, enjoying his touch. Everytime he touched me, I relished in it; after not having it for so long, it was hard not to.

"Morning. Where did you guys go?"

He quickly pecked me on the lips before he answered, "Oh, just casing the bank we are going to rob. Can you believe it?!"

He giggled as his body began to fidget with excitement. He couldn't wait to try out this whole new life that was laid out before him. Before all of this, he always worked so hard to control that one side of himself, that wrong side, and tried so hard to stay on the "right" side of everything as best he could. He did this by focusing on bringing joy and laughter to everyone else, in hopes to ignore the things he really craved for. But that was then and this was now. It was time to release that other side of himself and just... 'do'. Do whatever the fuck he wanted, without thinking of the consequences. Do whatever made him happy. And he wanted to do this.

I noticed that Sean and Michael followed Jack, meaning Arthur and I were alone for a moment.

I looked up at him as I reached up and rested my arms on his shoulders, crossing my wrists behind his neck, "Hey, Arthur..."

He rested his hands on my hips, "Yes, love?"

"I was going to take a shower, but I have no clothes. I--"

He moved one of his hands up to my face and caressed my jawline, rubbing his thumb ever so gently against my skin, "Already taken care of. That suitcase Jack brought in," he flicked his eyes in the direction of the suitcase, "has some clothes in it for us to use."

"Where did you get them?"

He slowly moved his hand from my jawline to the base of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair, and pulled me closer, kissing me on my jawline. His other hand that was still holding onto my hip moved down to my ass.

He pushed his nose against my jawline, forcing me to turn my head slightly so that my neck was more accessible to him, "How about we take that shower together?"

I smiled playfully, not that he could see it, as he placed a seductive kisses on my neck, "I don't know. I'm still processing all of these changes and I need time to think. Easier to do that alone."

His kisses reached my collarbone by the time I said this and he stopped dead in his tracks to look up at me, "Oh? I think you're just trying to fuck with me right now."

I bit my bottom lip to hide my smile, "No, I mean it. I need some alone time. So, I'll just take a nice, hot and relaxing shower by myself."

He scoffed at me, but before he could say anything, Sean came busting through the double doors and made his way over to us.

He held up a newspaper, "Fate has provided us with the perfect opportunity to get at Dr. Brandt and the rest of Gotham's elite."

Arthur withdrew himself from me completely and turned all of his attention to Sean, which - being perfectly honest - irked me a bit, "How so?" Then he grabbed the newspaper from Sean.

Sean started going on about some fundraiser for the Arkham State Hospital that was set to take place in a few days.

_Blah, blah, blah._

I didn't really care to hear about it right now. I just wanted to get back to my 'conversation' with Arthur.

After Sean went on for a few minutes, he said that he was going to head out to try and get some more information so that they could come up with a more solid plan.

Arthur handed the newspaper back to Sean, "Get the van started, but wait for me. I'll be right out."

As Sean walked off, I slapped Arthur on the shoulder, "Hey! I thought we were going to take a shower together."

He shrugged his shoulders, "You said you wanted to shower by yourself."

"You know I was just fucking with you!"

He chuckled as he took my chin between his thumb and index finger, "I know, love. I know can't resist me."

His statement surprised me. He would have never said that before. Maybe he would have in a joking way, but right now he was being blatantly serious. 

I exaggerated a frown, "Then why are you leaving?"

He looked at me seriously, "I promised you that I would make Dr. Brandt pay. I intend on keeping that promise."

He went over to the suitcase, picked it up, and then started making his way into our room.

I followed behind him, "How exactly do you plan on making him pay?"

He let out a genuine laugh as he started undressing, "Oh, I know exactly how I'm going to give him what he deserves. You'll love it, once you see it."

I've seen Arthur beatened and bruised before, but I had never seen it like this before. He was horribly skinny. His bruised skin, which was marked with cuts and burns, was tight around his ribs and spine - showing every bone. No matter how painful it looked, he somehow carried himself as if there was no pain. Or, if there was, he was completely unaffected by it. 

I stood there, giving him a look of skepticism that was mixed with worry, "I mean, I want nothing more than to make him pay for what he did to us, but don't you think doing shit like this will just get us in more trouble?"

"Love, we killed people. You can't get in much more trouble than that," he argued as he stepped into some pants.

I shuffled my feet, "Well, no one knows that I killed anyone."

"Not yet, they don't."

Before he could put on a shirt, I placed my hands on his shoulders and forced him to look at me, "Arthur, really...all of this is making me nervous. I don't want to go back to that hospital," I lowered my head, as my thoughts became consumed by horrible memories, "I'll die before I go back there."

I was embarrassed by my totally dramatic statement, but it was truly how I felt. 

He cupped my face in his hands and gently guided my gaze towards him, so that we were eye to eye, "Anon. I know I've failed in keeping you safe in the past, but I was weak then. That shit won't happen again. No one is going to hurt you. No one is going to lock you up, ever again. I won't allow it." 

My hands grabbed onto his wrists as I rested my forehead on his chin and closed my eyes, "I don't think that is really something you can control, Arthur."

"Yeah, you're right. Arthur alone couldn't control that - couldn't control anything, but as Joker... I can." Then, he moved his head slightly so that he could place a kiss on my forehead, "I've got to go, love."

He gently pulled away from me, slipped a shirt on, and then left. I sighed in disappointment as I got ready for my shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we are now caught up with what I have posted on Wattpad. I will try to update as soon as possible. 
> 
> I hope you are enjoying it so far.


	6. Thoughts

The next morning, everyone was up early to get ready for the next big event - the bank robbery. 

The tables in the room were all occupied by Sean, Michael, Jack, and some of the other "followers". JJ and I sat next to each other on the couch as we watched them, listening to the hum of their voices. 

They all sat in their chairs, drank coffee, smacked on donuts, and conversed with each other as if it were just another morning - another day at the 'office'. There wasn't one of them that had the pre-robbery jitters. Not even the 16 year old, a now pledged Joker follower, who was talking to Michael. I could hear him, over all of the other voices, going on about how he had waited for this day to come. For Joker to be free of Arkham Hospital and finish what he started almost one year ago. 

Once he stopped talking, Jack's voice became the loudest voice in the room. He wasn't talking about Joker or about the robbery. No, he was talking about how, after he got his cut of the money, he was going to visit his favorite gentleman's club and get high with some of the strippers. As I heard him go on about the deviant activities he had planned, I looked down at JJ through the corners of my eyes. He just sat there, holding his favorite action figure, watching everyone. I felt bad for him. 

_He shouldn't be involved in this. He should be in school and playing with other kids._

I started to say something to JJ when the door to my room suddenly flung open, causing everything to go silent as all eyes in the room turned towards the noise. I knew the person coming out of the room was Arthur, who else would be coming out of that room? However, with the way the door opened and where I was seated on the couch, the opened door blocked my view of him. I could only hear him. 

I heard the flick of a lighter and then the soft crackling burn of a cigerette. I heard him exhale and take several steps forward, until the door no longer shielded him from my view, and there he stood. 

Joker.

For the first time since the riot, he was adorned in his colorful suit and painted face. True, this wasn't the first time I witnessed him in his full getup, but when I did see him he was very disheveled and bloodied from the wreck he was in just moments before I found him. So, this was my first time seeing the clean and polished version of his Joker persona. 

His suit was clean and crisp, like it had recently been cleaned and starched, and it draped onto his thin body perfectly, accentuating his body in all of the right places. You couldn't even tell he was as skinny as he truely was. 

His facepaint was free of smudges and applied perfectly. Of course, when I say perfectly, I don't mean in the sense that everything was symmetrical. 

I recalled how particular Arthur was when he dressed up as Carnival. He always made sure that the smile curved at the same angle on each side, that the triangles on each eye were the same size, and his eyebrows were of even height on his forehead. He had pefected his Carnival look, to the point that putting it on was mere muscle memory. Carnival was adorable and predictable.

However, this need for symmetry didn't translate to his Joker persona. In fact, it was the opposite. Everything about his Joker face was uneven. The curves of the smile were different on each side, all four triangles were different sizes, and his eyebrows were unevenly placed on his forehead. It wasn't perfect, in the traditional sense, but for his Joker persona - it was perfect. 

It hinted to that feeling of uneasiness; when you know somethings is off, but you aren't quite sure what it is. He was obviously a clown, he had the painted face and smile, but there was an undertone of danger - as if he could make you laugh, but then shoot you dead the next minute. He was a funny comedian and a dangerous gangster all in one. Joker was provocative and unpredictable. 

His slicked-backed dark, candy green hair just added to the narrative of his persona. He was silly, but ready for business - like a crazy business man. 

It was just amazing how the whole look just came together and made him look so utterly _alluring_. I couldn't look away. 

I watch him as he walked over to Sean, who was on the opposite side of the room from me, and I couldn't help but notice something else that was totally different. I noticed how he had taken on this very slinky, sexy walk that I had never seen before. Every step he took, every little move he made just melted and flowed into the next - like he was in a constant state of dance. 

I had seen these movements before in Arthur when he danced, but that was only on occasion: when he was happy, when he had a song stuck in his head, or when he needed to express himself when words wouldn't work - like the night of the subway killings. But now his dancing had found its way into his whole being. It was just another part of him and it only added to his appeal. He just oozed confidence, as if he never in his life experienced a lack of it. Like he was the definition of confidence.

Once he made it to his destination, he held his cigerette in his mouth and said something to Sean as he fiddled with the button on his cuff. I watched as he spoke, gently moving his mouth as to not damage the end of the cigerette that was stuck between his red lips. 

Once he was finished with his cuff, he titled his head up slightly, now listening to whatever Sean was saying, and caressed the cigerette between his index and middle fingers so he could pull it out of his mouth. He ever so gently exhaled the smoke out of one side of his mouth, holding the cigerette barely an inch from his lips. 

I always loved watching him smoke, but watching him do it right in this moment almost made my insides ache for him. Was it because he was dressed up in his Joker persona? Was it because we still hadn't had any 'quality' alone time since reuniting? 

It was definitely a mix of both..

_I'd gladly trade places with that cigerette. I'd do anything to be..._

My racy thoughts were interrupted when I felt the couch shift slightly and a sudden pressure against the side of my thigh. I looked down and found that JJ closed the space between us and was sitting right next to me, holding onto his action figure so tightly that his small knuckles were white.

I bent my head down towards him, "You're not afraid of Joker, are you?"

He looked up at me as he sheepishly nodded his head.

"You don't need to be afraid of him. You know, he used to do kid's parties. He would sing, dance, and do magic tricks. They used to call him Carnival."

JJ looked at Arthur and studied him for a few seconds before looking back at me, "But my dad said he killed people."

I sighed, "Yeah. Yeah, he did, but those people hurt him."

He killed Johnny, Nicholas, and Andrew because they attacked us on the subway train. He killed his mom because she allowed her boyfriend to abuse him and lied to him about basically everything. He killed Randall because he attacked me. He killed Murray because he brought Arthur onto his show to make fun of him. He killed those people at Arkham because he blamed them for my "suicide". So, I wasn't lying. Every single one of them deserved what happened to them. 

JJ looked at me, still unconvinced, "So, he doesn't kill kids?"

I shook my head, "No, of course not. Why would you think that?"

"My dad told me he did....."

My brows automatically knitted together as I looked up. Once my eyes located Jack, I found that he was already glaring at me. I felt a heat rise from my chest to my cheeks. I wanted so much to yell out across the room to Jack and ask him why he would lie to his young son about something like that. What propose could he possible have to do that? However, I remembered what Michael said about Jack yesterday and I definitely didn't want to get JJ in trouble. 

So, I soften my expression as I turned my attention back at JJ, "I promise you, JJ, Joker will never hurt you. In fact, I'll have Joker show you one of his birthday acts sometime. Sound good?"

I saw one corner of his mouth ever so slightly turn upwards, almost into a one-sided smile, before Jack called out his name - making JJ jump from his seat and quickly make his way over to his dad. I watched their interaction until a body blocked my view, one that was clothed in a colorful suit. 

"Seems he is taking a liking to you."

I looked up at Arthur, who had a playful grin on his painted face. Seeing him again almost completely made me forget about the the anger that I was harboring inside myself towards Jack.

_God, no one should look this good while dressed like this._

I stood up so I could get a closer look at his face. The paint masked most of the creases that were usually quite visible on his face, making him look a few years younger. 

I just wanted to mess up his perfect face by attacking him with my mouth, but I restrained myself and forced myself to reply to his statement.

"He was scared. You scared him."

He looked at me defensively, "I didn't do anything to him."

"I didn't say you did anything. Apparently Jack is telling JJ scary things about you," I purposefully lowered my voice to avoid Jack hearing me.

He shrugged his shoulders, with his hands raised up in indifference, "I've done some scary things."

"What I mean is, he apparently told JJ that you kill kids."

"Why would he do that?"

"I...I don't know. You should have heard what Michael said about him. I think we need to do something."

Arthur gently sliced a hand through the air between us, "No, Anon. That's none of our business."

"How can you say that? Jack works for you and, if we know he is neglecting his son, we shou---"

Sean walked up to us, "We're ready when you are."

_Goddamn it. Interrupted again._

I looked at Sean, "Look, I'm talking to him right now, so could you please leave us alone."

Arthur placed his hands on my shoulders, "Anon, stop," then he turned his head to Sean, "get everyone out of here. I'll be out there in a second."

Sean looked at me apologetically and then turned to walk away. As he made his way to the door, that lead out to the alleyway, he whistled and motioned a hand towards the door. Automatically, everyone stood up from their seats and followed him, filing themselves outside so that it was just JJ, Arthur, and me left in the room.

Arthur was already looking back at me, at this point, and dropped his hands to his sides, "Anon, don't get involved with these people. I only trust them because Sean does, but that doesn't mean much."

My eyes darted over at JJ who was rummaging through one of the broken vending machines, "JJ is just a kid, who seems to be in a bad situation. I just want to help him."

Arthur sighed, "I don't mind you being nice to JJ. Talking to JJ. That's fine, but I don't need you getting into Jack's business to 'fix' anything. The boy is fine. Sean says he and Michael make sure the boy gets what he needs. So, just leave it at that. Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have to go," he pecked me on the lips and pulled away with a devious smile, "wish me luck."

I didn't return the smile, I was upset with how he just shut me down, "Have fun, I guess."

He ignored my insincerity and left without another word. After all of the noise that pervaded the air in the room earlier, the silence was striking and a bit unsettling. I wasn't sure how long they would be gone and there was absolutely nothing to do.

I looked at JJ, who was now sitting at one of the tables, silently eating the small candy bar he dug out of the vending machine, and then looked at his action figure that was laid out on the table. Suddently, an idea popped in my head.

"Hey, wanna go find a playground?"

He looked up at me with a wide toothy grin that almost reminded me of Arthur.

*  
*

JJ and I were walking back to the warehouse, enjoying a couple of popsicles that I stole from a convenience store we stopped at a few blocks back. We were both worn out from the hours we spent walking around. It took us forever to find a park with a playground, but it was worth it. 

At first, JJ and I were playing together, playing hide and seek and other little games like that, until some other kids came up and asked JJ if he wanted to play with them. That gave me a chance to sit down and rest while he played some more. It was funny to see this kid, that was always so quiet, running around like a lunatic and screaming at the top of his lungs. He was a totally different kid in this environment. He needed it. 

And his personality continued to shine through as we made our way home. He talked and talked about his favorite cartoons, heros, villians, and so much more. He almost reminded me of Betty, just by how fast and frantic he spoke, as if he would forget all of his amazing thoughts if he didn't get them out quick enough. It was okay though. I didn't mind. I simply listened, giving him reassuring "mhmm's" and "ooh's" to let him know that I was listening. 

That was what I did, until my attention was pulled away from him when we walked by a storefront that had several TVs set up in the window. To be more specific, heard a voice from the screen say "bank robbery". Of course, this made several different possible situations pop into my head. 

_Were they successful? Were they caught? Was someone hurt? Killed?_

I stopped walking and positioned myself in front of the multiple screens; in the corner of my eye, I saw JJ position himself beside me.

**News Anchor #1:**  
**More information coming in about the bank robbery that occurred earlier this morning: Though our on-site crew didn't get a visual on the suspects, there are several reports coming in that one of the suspects involved was the notorious Arthur Fleck, who is also known as "Joker".**

**News Anchor #2:**  
**This is the very same man that was sent to Arkham State Hospital almost a year ago after he was arrested for shooting Murray Franklin, effectively killing him on the live broadcasting of his show. Here are just a few clips from that horrible night.**

The TV image snapped from the news anchors to the Murray Franklin show. Murray was introducing his next guest and my eyes zoned in on him. It was weird seeing him and hearing his voice after all this time. How would Arthur feel if he were to see this right now? 

Then my eyes switched to the familiar red, orange, cream and blue curtains. Arthur watched this show so much, before everything happened, that I just knew those curtains would be stained in my memory forever. 

When Murray finished talking, the live stage band began to play the oh so familair music as the blue curtains opened slightly, revealing the guest that Murray introduced as Joker.

Arthur.

He swayed his body to the sound of the music, making very small steps forward. He waved his hands in the air, eventually sticking them outside of the curtains and pushing them away to reveal himself further. He stepped out of the curtains, taking hold of the cigeratte that was in his mouth, holding it into the air, and finally flicking it away. His painted smile only exaggerated the toothy grin he had on his face. 

Then the clip skipped to the part where he admitted to killing Johnny, Andrew, and Nicholas. He spoke, almost cautiously, as he scanned the crowd, no doubt wanting to see their reaction to his words. Murray was eating it up too. He asked Arthur all kinds of questions and provoked him further. He was just trying to increase his viewings by getting the first scoop of the 'psycho subway killer'.

The clip skipped one more time and Arthur was no longer speaking cautiously. He wasn't necessarily yelling, but his voice was raised as he spoke about "men like Thomas Wayne" not caring about people like Arthur and expecting them to "just sit there and take it" and not "werewolf and go wild". He was relieving himself of a lot of pent up anger and frustration. Until Murray interrupted again. Then, Arthur got quiet again and his anger quickly turned into hurt. Even through the small TV screen, I could see tears building in his green eyes as he told Murray that he was awful for bringing him on the show to make fun of him.

Hearing him say that, my heart dropped down into my stomach as I recalled the clips of Arthur that Murray played on his show. He was right, he brought Arthur onto the show to take advantage of him. To make him into a joke. 

But Joker would eventually be the one to have the last laugh. 

As quickly as Arthur went from anger to hurt, he then smiled and laughed, asking Murray if he wanted to hear another joke. Of course, Murray was over it at this point and tried to shut him down, but Arthur wasn't going to do what Murray wanted to do. It was his turn to run the show, so he spoke over him, but this didn't deter Murray - he continued to talk over Arthur's joke. Then, Arthur hit the punch line of his joke...

**"You get what you fucking deserve!"**

And, with that, the clip was cut off and the two news anchors were back on the screen, shaking their heads at each other in displeasure.

**News Anchor #1:**  
**I know it's been almost a year, but that scene still haunts me to this day. It is terrifying to hear that he is possibly back out on the streets - something that, according to our reports, was not brought to the attention of the GCPD until the bank robbery was in progress.**

**News Anchor #2:**  
**We have reached out to Arkham State Hospital's head doctor, Dr. Brandt, to try and find out why Arthur Fleck's possible escape was not reported sooner, but we have been unable to make contact with him.**

Hearing Dr. Brandt's name sent a horrible shiver up my spine, which caused my body to shake harshly. 

I felt a small hand grab onto mine, "Are you cold?"

I looked down at JJ's concerned face, "Yeah, a little."

He took a step from me and pulled at me gently, "Lets go home then."

I smiled at him, "Good idea."

*  
*

It wasn't too long before JJ and I made it back to the warehouse. As I opened the door, I almost expected to see people dancing around as money rained down on them. Isn't that something that happens when you find yourself with an ungodly amount of money? It happened in movies at least. However, the room was actually very calm. 

Michael was sitting in one of the chairs at a table, leaning back with his feet propped up on the table. For a moment, I thought he was sleeping until he opened one eye to find out who was walking in. 

Jack was also in the room, sitting in the couch, with his right knee bouncing up and down. Was he nervous about something? He looked at JJ briefly. For some reason, I thought he might ask JJ where we were coming from; I thought he would be interested in his son at least enough to ask him that, but he didn't. He just snorted air out of his nose and cracked his knuckles. 

I looked at Michael, "Where is Arthur? Sean?"

Michael pointed at the door that lead to my room.

Suddenly, Jack stood up, "They need to hurry the fuck up. I have places I need to be!"

JJ, Michael, and I all shot our eyes into Jack's direction, at his sudden outburst.

My brows knitted together, "Who are you talking to?"

Michael removed his feet from the table, sat up straight in his chair, and looked at Jack, obviously picking up on my challenging tone, "Dude, shut up! If you start shit, you can kiss your cut goodbye." His voice was quiet, but firm. 

Jack scoffed, "I'm the reason that robbery went the way it did. I earned that money. I'll start shit if I want."

He said that as if he was going to keep going, but he didn't. He just sat back down on the couch, rested his elbows on his thighs and twiddled his thumbs impatiently as he held his gaze down at the ground. Michael shook his head and looked at me apologetically.

I looked at Michael, "I'm going to see what's taking so long."

I wasn't doing this for Jack's benefit; I was doing it for mine. The more Jack spoke, the more time I spent around him, the more dislike I harbored towards him.

I might even take this as a chance to see if Arthur really needs him anymore. He was brought in to help with the bank robbery. That's done. We don't need him anymore. 

I went into the other room, not bothering to knock first, and found both Sean and Arthur sitting at the table, relaxing in their chairs. The air in the room was hazy from all of the smoke. Both them held half-burned cigarettes in their mouth as their eyes glanced up at me at the same time.

Arthur sat up, resting one elbow on the table, and delicately pulled his cigerette from his mouth as he crossed one leg over the other, "Were your ears burning?" Smoke poured out of his mouth as he spoke.

His pristine facepaint was no more. It was smudged and I could see streaks throughout, most likely from him sweating. There were even blotches of visible skin on his forehead. As my eyes scanned him further, I found where the missing white paint went - on the sleeve of his red jacket. 

Next to his elbow were several small bags that took up most of the space on the table. Was that the money? They must have already sorted it all out.

I heard Arthur clear his throat, coaxing me for an answer.

"Should they be?"

Arthur gave me a one-sided smile as he held onto his cigerette, moving his fingers slightly to knock away the old ashes that were building at the end of it, carelessly getting the ashes all over the table, "We were wondering where you went."

"I took JJ to a park."

Sean stamped his cigerette into the ash tray that was sitting on the only available space on the table, directly between him and Arthur, "Park? You must have had to walk pretty far to find a park."

"Yeah, we did," I shrugged my shoulders, "but after being cramped up in Arkham for a year, it was a nice change."

Sean and Arthur both stole quick glances at each other and I couldn't help but feel uneasy. It felt like they were low key interrogating me. So, I decided to change the subject.

"So, now that the bank robbery was a success, do we need to keep Jack around?"

Arthur immediately rolled his eyes in annoyance and let out a sigh of fustration that he tried to pass off as a laugh, "I told you I was done talking about that."

I shook my head at him, "No, you said you didn't want to talk about getting into his business. Now I'm talking about kicking him to the curb."

Arthur skillfully flipped the cigerette around in his fingers and started tapping it against the table top, slowing snuffing out the gentle embers, "Fine. Sean was leaving, so I guess we will."

Without skipping a beat, Sean took the cue and stood up from his chair, grabbing up some of the bags as he did. He took all but two bags and started making his way towards me, so he could exit. However, as he came up beside me, Arthur called out for him to stop. He turned back around to face Arthur.

"Make sure to tell everyone that, while they can do whatever they want with their money," he paused, "they are not, I repeat, NOT to bring drugs in or around the warehouse. Or wherever else we end up staying. If I see it, they're done," his last sentence came out as a low growl as he mercilessly smashed the butt of his cigerette against the table.

I could see Sean tense up, as if he was so close to reacting to what Arthur said, but then restrained it at the very last second. I wondered what thoughts were going through his head. I never told him about my past issues with drugs, so this was probably coming out of left field for him. 

Did he think there was possibility of Arthur having some weird type of code? Like, 'killing and robbing are okay, but drugs are crossing the line'. If he really was thinking that, he was probably wondering what horrible experience Arthur had with drugs to drive him to make such a statement.

Whether he was really contemplating any of that or not, he simply nodded his head, "I'll let them know," and he left, closing the door behind him. 

Now it was just me and Arthur. I made my way over to the table and sat down in the chair that Sean had been sitting in just a moment ago.

"So, about Jack..."

"Where were you?"

"I told you, I took JJ to a park."

He flicked the crumbled cigerette butt away, "You expect me to believe that?"

His voice was calm and emotionless, but he had his face turned away from me, averting his gaze.

I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms in front of my chest, "Well, what do you think happened."

He looked at me, eyes furrowed, "What always happens when you run off," he ran his index and middle fingers across the top of the table, imitating a person running, before angerly flicking them outward, "You were getting high somewhere."

I twisted my face in disbelief, "W-what? Why would y--- Does it look like I'm high?"

After the words spilled out of my mouth, he was still for a few seconds before he jumped up out of seat, reaching across the table, and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. He pulled me towards him so we were both leaning across the top of the table, our faces just inches apart. I grabbed onto the wrist of his hand that was holding onto my shirt.

"High or not, I didn't know where you were or what you were doing - so it was left to my imagination," he pressed the index finger of his free hand against his temple, hard enough to make his hand shake a bit, "The thought of you choosing drugs over me again was eating away at the back of my mind. I couldn't let anyone else see it, but it was killing me. You made me feel...," 

His eyes were dancing around, searching for something as he spoke; he didn't even finish his sentence. His breath fanned against my skin and eyelashes; that familar scent of cigerattes invaded my senses and brought me back to sensual moments of the past. Of us, in each other's embrace. 

Yeah, he was mad at me, for no reason, but I couldn't help up continue my thoughts from early. My eyes focused on his red painted lips. Maybe if I kissed him, he would soften his demeanor. Maybe he would treat me as gently as his cigerettes.

I reached out to him with one hand and gently caressed his jawline, pulling his face towards me just a bit, "H-how did I make you feel?"

He sneered at me before pushing me so that I fell backwards into my chair. I gasped at the sudden tug of gravity, but it didn't hurt. I just wasn't expecting to be pushed away so suddenly. 

"The same way I felt the other times. I thought I'd be good enough for you now, but obviously I was wrong. I'm still not good enough," he slammed his hands on the table and leaned against them so that they were supporting his weight, "do you get it? Do you get how you make feel?"

_Insecure. He feels insecure._

Sure, insecurity was nothing new for the "old Arthur"; he felt it everyday. But now that he had this Joker persona, this whole new identity, he was more confident in himself, so damn anyone that tried to make him feel anything less than that. Including me.

I got up, walked around the table, and grabbed onto one of his arms, gently pulling at him - silently begging for him to face me. He hesitated, but he eventually did. 

As we faced each other, I grabbed onto the lapels of his red jacket, "I really did just take JJ to a park. So, I didn't choose drugs over you again. Please, trust me..."

He sighed as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, contemplating on what to do with what I said.

My thoughts; however, continued to wander. I slowly slid my hands from his jacket to his vest. I fiddled with the buttons, unbuttoning them slowly. His eyes shot open.

"I love you. You are good enough."

Once his vest was completely unbuttoned, I slid my hands underneath it so that I could slowly peel the vest and jacket off of his shoulders. He dropped his arms to his sides to assist this.

"I'm sorry. I promised not to make you feel that way again."

His jacket and vest fell to the ground behind his feet. He took my face in his hands and pulled me towards him until our lips met.


	7. Together Again *mature*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut chapter. So, don't read if you don't like.

His jacket and vest fell to the ground behind his feet. He took my face in his hands and pulled me towards him until our lips met.

I grabbed onto his forearms and pulled at them, signaling for him to press himself closer against me - which he did instantly, with a force that caused our bodies to move a few steps together. We titled our heads in opposite directions, so we could take in more of each other. This was our first time of real intimacy since our escape from Arkham Hospital and it was painfully obvious by the way we began to devour each other. The passion increased quickly.

He broke his arms away from my grasp so he could slide his right hand up to the base of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair, and his left hand down to my ass, taking a handful and squeezing as hard as he could. I moaned into his mouth and licked at his lips, ignoring the bitter taste of his face paint. Instead of giving me access, I felt his warm tongue clash into mine before twirling it around, feeling out my mouth as much as possible - as if he had forgotten how it felt. My taste buds lit up from the wonderful taste of him mixed with nicotine. 

I placed my hands against his chest, rubbing against the cool silk of his shirt, which was blocking me from what I really wanted. I wanted to feel his warm skin under my fingertips. I wanted to gently run my fingernails against his skin. 

As I started to unbutton his shirt, he used his hand that was on my ass to pull me up slighly and press my crotch against his. I could feel his already hardening manhood pulse against me and it made me feel weak, almost causing me to lose focus on his shirt.

He kept guiding my body to grind against his until I finished with his shirt. As soon as the last button came undone, I ran my hands up to his shoulders, going under the shirt, feeling the tensed muscles in his shoulders. His shoulders were always tense, from the very first time I felt them. I guess it shouldn't be surprised - he had been through so much shit in his life, but I guess a part of me hoped that he had let go of all of that stress.

I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and as far down on his arms as I could, stopping at about his elbows since he was still holding onto me with both hands. He was obviously too busy grinding me against him to worry about his shirt, so I gently shook his arms to bring him into awareness.

Without disconnecting our lips, he finally removed both hands so that he could fully pull his arms out of shirt, causing it to join his jacket and vest on the floor. Before Arthur could return his hands to my body, I pushed them down to his sides. This caused him to withdraw his face from mine.

We were both breathless from our long make out session, so neither of us could voice our thoughts. He looked down at me with a questioning face, obviously wondering why I pushed his hands away. I only did this because I had something specific in mind.

I kissed his swollen lips, but quickly pulled away when he tried to take a bite of my bottom lip, I heard his teeth clink together after missing my flesh and I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. Then I peppered him in kisses on his cheek, jawline, neck and collarbone as I reached my hands down to his pants so I could work on unbuckling them. He let out a low moan and I wasn't sure if it was because of my hands being in such close proximity to his manhood or because his growing length was being restricted by his pants. 

As soon as I undid his pants, I looked up at him as I hooked my fingers into his pants, "Arthur, I..."

The hazy look he had in his eyes quickly cleared as his blinked his eyes and pressed his mouth into a firm line, "You know, I haven't said anything until now, but I really wish you would stop calling me that."

His displeased tone caused me to look away from him, "I'm sorry. You are my Arthur and you always will be. So it's hard to call you anything else."

He tucked my chin between his index and middle fingers so he could adjust my gaze towards him again, "You of all people know what it is like to want to escape your given name."

A twinge of sadness invaded my chest. I had an understanding, albeit a small understanding, of why he was so drawn to his Joker persona. However, I hated that he also wanted to leave behind who he was as Arthur. Arthur was kind, loving, and special.

On the other hand, he was right. My given name brought me nothing but bad memories. That is why I chose a name for myself. So, I should be understanding and supportive. No matter amazing I knew Arthur was, that name brought up bad memories for him. I should be sensitive to that. 

"Okay, I'll try to do better."

A huge smile played across his face, "Thank you, love," he dropped his hand from my chin and danced his fingertips against the skin of my neck, "now....where were we?" His question came out as a low sexy growl that reminded me what we were in the middle of.

I returned my lips to his collarbone so I could continue what I was doing before I was interrupted. From his collarbone, I slowly moved down until I was forced to lower myself onto my knees to continue my decent to his stomach. 

When my lips reached the top of his pants, I looked up at him with a playful smirk on my face. I could see him chew on the inside of his bottom lip as he looked down at me, patiently waiting for me to make my next move. I kept my eyes locked on his as I tugged on his pants and underwear at the same time, pulling them down until his hard length was finally free from the constricting clothes. He stepped out of the clothing, now laying on the floor, and kicked them away as I took in the sight of his impressive length.

I kissed his hipbone as one of my hands grabbed onto his thigh and the other grabbed onto the underside of the base of his manhood. I kept my eyes on the smirk that played across his alluringly painted face. All of this felt so much more scandalous and exciting than ever before. I slowly moved my mouth from his hip to the head of his engorged member, ghosting my lips against the tip and exaggerating an exhale to tease him. 

He defied my teasing by pushing his hips forward a bit, causing the tip of his member to press against my lips. Feeling the warm pre-cum on my lips, I instinctively licked it away, which also forced my tongue to gently graze his sensitive head. He let out a small sound of affirmation, a sound I had for so long missed. I wanted to hear it again. 

Still keeping eye contact, I gently kissed the tip of his member, moving my lips from one side to the other before running my tongue up the entire length of him and then twirl it around the tip a few times. I could sense him shiver in response. Then I slowly enveloped him between my lips, taking him in slowly - causing him to close his eyes to better focus on the feeling of the moment - until he hit the back of my throat. I let out a moan, which vibrated against him, causing him to let out a matched moan of pleasure. 

I began to bob myself up and down his member at a slow pace, letting him feel every sensation. He lovingly petted my head as he threw his head back, eyes still closed, and ran his free hand through his green hair. Every breathy moan from him just urged me to increase the pace of my movements. 

I was at a pretty decent pace when his hand, that was on my head, grabbed a chunk of my hair at the roots. The sudden pull on my hair sent electric signals of pain and excitement over my skull and down my neck. He started to guide my mouth up and down his length at the pace he desired. He looked down at me, watching himself disappear and then reappear from my mouth and listening to my moans and occasional gags that occurred when he became a little overzealous.

This went on for at least a couple minutes before I noticed his breathing become short and ragged. He was getting close. Before he came completely undone, he used my hair to pull me away from him. He then released my hair and pulled me up, by my upperarms, into a standing position. He slammed his lips against mine as he swung our bodies around before making careful steps backwards. As we walked together, keeping our lips in close contact at all times, I peeled off my shirt and bra as he worked on unbuttoning my pants until he backed up against the bed. 

He started a trail of kisses down my body as he sat himself down on the bed, then he pulled my pants and underwear down as far as he could and I kicked them off the rest of the way. He scooted himself a little further on the bed as he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me onto him. I straddled him, placing my hands on his shoulders for better balance, as he greedily took one of my nipples in his mouth. 

Feeling the slick movements of his tongue and the occasional pinch from his teeth against my nipple sent small waves of pleasure down my spine and into my core. I ran a hand through his green hair, moving it out of the way. Seeing his face buried in my chest was exciting and every tiny sensation seemed to be exaggerated. I rubbed my already dripping core against him. I couldn't wait much longer. I wanted him, all of him, now.

He moved his face to the center of my chest and I felt his tongue run up from between my breasts to the bottom of my chin. He looked at me and he looked deranged with lust. His face paint was smeared even more than before. Actually, a good majority of the face paint around his mouth was gone. I took a quick glance at my chest to find that it was covered in splotches of red and white paint and tiny specks of blue paint.

He slapped me on the ass before he placed a hand on my lower back. With his other hand, he postioned his member at the entrance of my core and rubbed it against my slick folds. He was teasing me. 

I bit my bottom lip and whimpered, "I want you so bad."

He continued to tease me, "How bad do you want me, baby?" His husky voice sent shivers up my spine.

I leaned into him, nuzzling my face unto the crook of his neck, and licked at his salty skin. I moved up from his neck to the area behind his ear and placed gently kisses there. He let out a quiet moan as his teasing movements slowed. He finally realigned himself at my core and I felt him raise his hips slightly. I lowered myself onto him and the feeling of him entering me slowly was overwhelming. It was that burning mixed of pleasure and pain. It has been so long, I definitely had to readjust to him. He filled me all the way to the hilt and I let out a satisfied moan.

I pulled my head back from his neck and pecked him on the lips. He kissed me back as his hands ghosted down my sides and found their place on my hips. He lifted my hips, slowly guiding me off of his cock before slamming me back down. My breath hitched. A jolt of pleasure shot through my core. Then he did it again. Another jolt of pleasure. Both of us were whispering sweet nothings to each other as a warmth began to build in the pit of my stomach. 

When we could not longer stand it, we started moving at a consistent pace. I focused on the feeling him slide in and out of me, squeezing between my sensitive walls. I leaned my head back and arched my back to allow him to journey deeper inside me. This gave him perfect access to my chest once more and he took advantage of it. 

"Mmmhm, I-I'm....close," was all I could get out between my ragged breaths.

He moaned against my breast as he lifted my ass up to pull himself out of me completely. The sudden emptiness was disappointing, but, before I could even react to it, he flipped us over so that I was laying on my stomach on the edge of the bed and he was bent over me. His engorged member was pressed against my folds as his arm snaked its way into the small space between my body and the bed; his fingers making their way to the sensitive bundle of nerves. He rubbed in a circular motion, causing me to let out a sinful moan. I rubbed myself against him, urging him to submerge himself inside me once more. 

"You're close? How close, love?" 

I turned my head to look at him, watching him feverishly kissing at my spine. The skin of my back was burning with pleasurable shocks of feeling his wet lips and his green curls tickling my nerve endings. All of this, on top of the circular motion of his fingers, were pushing me closer to the edge.

The pressure forming deep in the pit of my stomach was making me weak and it was hard for me to answer, "So......close."

Without warning, he entered me once again; his body slamming into mine with a force that caused me to gasp out. He instantly began moving in a steady rhythm, withdrawing himself from me and thrusting himself back in, as I mewed sounds of approval. His one hand that was on my hip, grabbed onto my warm flesh, keeping me in place as my body tried to twitch every time he hit that sweet spot; his other hand still working on my clit. 

My moaning shifted to quiet cursing as I was nearing the edge of the cliff, "Fu-uck...Joker..." 

I could feel his movements quicken and it all became too much. I felt the pressure burst and waves radiated through my whole body as he continued to thrust into me. My walls clentched around him and in mere seconds, he reached his breaking point as well. We rode out our highs together, gasping and moaning sweet nothings to each other. 

Once our pleasure subsided, he withdrew himself from me. I turned myself around so my back was on the bed and scooted myself onto the bed completely. Arthur followed my movements and laid right beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

Silence took over the room, but it was a calming silence. We were just laying there, enjoying each other - something we definitely needed. Ever since our escape from Arkham Hospital, he spent most of his time adjusting to his new role as Joker and I... Well, there wasnt much for me to do. I was just "Joker's woman"; I didn't have much of a role. So, I spent most of my time just waiting for him. We needed this time to remind us what our true priorities were.

Each other.


	8. I Can Do This

I was standing outside in the alleyway smoking a cigarette, alone, when Sean exited the warehouse. As he closed the door behind him, completely oblivious to my existence, he lifted his head up towards the sky and rubbed a hand roughly against his upper trapezius muscle. Was he stressed? Surely he was; he planned the Arkham hospital breakout, the bank robbery, and now the scheme to get back at Dr. Brandt - all three occurring just days apart.

He dropped his hand back to his side as he continued to look up at the overcast sky, taking in a deep breath. He held it in for a few seconds before exhaling. Then, his eyes caught sight of the trail of smoke I had released into the air. His eyes followed it, which eventually lead them to me. 

He perked up when he saw me, not even showing a bit of concern that I had been standing there the whole time, "Ah, exactly who I was looking for."

With my cigarette between my index and middle fingers, I cautiously pointed to myself, "Me?" 

He placed his hands in his pant pockets and nodded, "Yes. Did Joker tell you about our next plan?"

"If you are referring the fundraiser, he mentioned it, but didn't tell me much."

"Well, we will need your help this time."

I took a drag from my cigarette as I tried to think of how I could possibly help with any plan of theirs. Before I could even ask, Sean took a few steps towards me, leaned his shoulder against the wall, and went on to explain what they had planned.

Apparently, he found out, through his connections, that a certain woman, named Heather Coleman, was going to be a guest speaker at the event and she was going to be talking about her experience with Dr. Brandt and the Arkham State Hospital. She struggled with PTSD and drug addiction for most of her life and Dr. Brandt successfully helped her through it so she could finally live a relatively normal life.

Sean pulled out a picture her from his pocket. He had taken the picture while following her as part of his "recon mission" to create an air-tight plan for the fundraiser. Her facial features were very comparable to mine. The main difference was that she had dark brown hair and brown eyes. Which was the very opposite of my blonde hair and blue/green eyes.

So, the plan was for me to pretend to be Heather so I could be that person on the inside while Sean and the others got into place and waited for the right time to attack. Sean said he pretty much had everything set up; he had several people in place that were going to be part of the catering staff that would make sure to get our people in and lock the doors so none of the guests could escape. 

I flicked my cigarette onto the ground and stamped it out with my foot, "Sounds like a solid plan, but why exactly do you need me to pretend to be this woman?"

Sean pushed himself from the wall, "Dr. Brandt isn't on the agenda, so he must not be speaking. Which means he will just be in the middle of a sea of tables and it would be easier if he was standing kind of alone, like he would be if he was onstage. So, we need you to do her speech so you can get him onstage somehow."

My eyes widened, "You guys actually want him on the stage? In front of all of those people? Why not just stalk him and grab him by jumping out of a dark alley?"

Sean chuckled, "Joker wants more flair than just jumping out of the shadows."

I shook my head. I shouldn't have been surprised. After seeing how different he was when he took on his Joker persona and the footage from the Murray Franklin show, it was obvious that Arthur had a certain...aptitude for the dramaticism...when he put on that suit. 

His Joker suit. It was like, when he put on that suit, it just changed his personality. Or maybe not really change it, but exaggerate it. Because some of the things he did 'as Joker', I have seen him do on a normal day - just at a much lesser exaggerated state. 

Then Sean added to his answer, "Plus, he wants you to help this time. Be a part of the fun. Be next to him."

_How sweet. Lovers in crime._ I chuckled lightly at the thought.

"So, you alright with that?"

A thought suddenly popped in my head, "So, what'll happen to her?"

Sean tilted his head slightly, like a puppy, "What do you mean?"

"Well, if I'm going to take Heather's place at the fundraiser, she obviously can't be there too. What's going to happen to her?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged his shoulders, "Nothin'. A couple of guys will take her somewhere and keep her busy for a few hours. Once I give them the word, they will let her go back to her life."

I sighed with relief, "Good. Make sure to tell the guys who are going to 'keep her busy' that they are not to hurt a single hair on her head. If they do, well, they're going to wish they didn't."

Sean gave me a one-sided smile, "Will do, ma'am. That mean we're good to go?"

I nodded, "Yep, lets do it."

*  
*  
*

It was the night of the fundraiser and we were sitting in a car that was parked just a short ways from the event building where the fundraiser was taking place. When I say "we" it was:

One of "Joker's" followers in the driver's seat, Sean in the passenger seat, and Arthur and I sitting in the back seats. 

Michael was in the van with some other followers and Jack was in another car with some additional followers. 

I was bouncing my left leg up and down nervously as I looked out the car window - watching Gotham's rich file in with all of their dignified swagger. I wanted to do this, there was no question about it, but it was still nerve-wracking. I wondered if I could really pull this off. 

_What if Dr. Brandt sees right through my ruse and recognizes me?_

I suddenly felt a hand rest on my knee, pressing down and forcing my leg still. I looked over at Arthur, his eyes reflecting the dull light that poured from the backseat light, and I could feel the excitement radiating off of him. 

His thumb rubbed against the bare skin of my knee as his gaze turned from the view outside of the window to me, "Exciting, isn't it?"

I straightened my posture, rolling my shoulders to release my nervous energy. 

_He isn't worried. I shouldn't be either. I got this. We got this._

"So," his hand moved up my leg, hiking the skirt of my dress up so that he could caress my inner thigh, "you know what to do, right?"

"Yeah, Sean walked me through the whole thing."

As I spoke, his eyes danced around, taking in every inch of my appearance. This was coupled with him twisting his body toward me and reaching his hand out to grab a lock of my hair, that had fallen into my face, so he could gently tuck it behind my ear. Well, not my actual hair, the hair of the wig I was wearing. Then his fingers tickled my jawline as he ran his hand down from below my ear to below my chin before he withdrew his hand completely. Now that he had full, uninterrupted view of my face, he studied me for a few seconds before turning the corners of his mouth down into a displeased frown.

"I don't like this look on you."

I glanced down at myself instinctively, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It just isn't...you."

I smiled at him and shook my head playfully, "I'm only wearing all of this for the fundraiser, you know that."

"I know," a devious smile altered his sweet face suddenly, "I mean, I definitely want to see you in this dress again," he squeezed my inner thigh, "but not the wig and contacts."

I playfully hit him on the shoulder and with both giggled at his words, until we were silenced by him smashing his mouth onto mine. I leaned towards him, closing the gap between our bodies further. I felt his hand slid up my leg even further and a quiet moan passed my lips.

"There's Dr. Brandt. He just entered the building."

Hearing Sean's voice jerked me back to reality. I gently shoved Arthur away from me and pushed at his arm to get his hand out from under my skirt. He just let out an amused laugh as he adjusted himself in his seat.

Sean turned around in his seat and looked at me, "Okay, go ahead and get in there. Remember, you're wired, so we will be able to hear you and will move in as soon as you give us the signal."

I nodded at Sean and then looked at Arthur one more time, "I guess I'll see you in there."

He leaned towards me again, inching his face closer and closer. I started to lean in too, closing my eyes, preparing for a kiss. Then I heard the click of the car door handle and the screech of the door opening. My eyes opened to see him with a wide smile.

"Oh, yes love, you will."

I averted my gaze, feeling slightly embarrassed that I though he was trying to kiss me when he was really just reaching across me so he could open the door for me. 

I got out of the car and started walking towards the event building, smoothing the skirt of my dress along the way. I was wearing a red off-the-shoulder dress that had a pencil skirt with black high heels. Nothing crazy. When Sean and a couple of followers went to Heather's house to kidnap her before the fundraiser, Sean found this outfit laid out and decided to bring it back for me to wear since I didn't have any other dresses to wear. I was surprised that it fit perfectly.

I walked into the event center and made my way to the check-in desk. Everyone that was speaking had to check in. I had no idea who else, outside of Dr. Brandt, knew Heather, so I wanted to try and avoid talking to as many people as I could. I was going to check in, find my seat, sit down, and wait for my cue to go on stage. That's it. Nothing else. 

The receptionist smiled at me, "Good evening, ma'am! Name?"

"H-h," I cleared my throat, "Heather Coleman."

The receptionist looked down at a piece of paper that was in front of her, scanning a list of names that was typed on it. Then she made a noise of affirmation and made a check mark by a name. She handed me the agenda and a ticket for the drawing they were going to have at the end of the fundraiser. She then called over an usher to take me to my seat.

I followed the usher through two huge doors, which brought us to a big open room that made my bottom jaw drop. The room was brightly lit and there were multiple crystal candaliers which just reflected the light everywhere, making the room glisten. It was filled with beautifully decorated tables with expensive looking dishes and silverware. I made me wonder how much money they spent just to throw this fundraiser. Probably too much, making the whole thing seem rather counterproductive.

And, of course, there were so many people walking around chatting, laughing, and living their lives completely unaware of what would be crashing in our their party later. Who would be...

Aware. It made me wonder if anyone here, that didn't work at Arkham, truely knew what was going on the Arkham hospital. Did they know that people were being brutalized, starved, overly-medicated, or - worse - electrocuted to death? If they found out, would they care?

I watched Gotham's elite walking around, the men in their black tuxedo suits and the woman in their colorful, flowing dresses with beautiful diamond jewelry. They only believed in skin-deep beauty. They only cared about themselves. They turn their noses at people like me, like Arthur. To them, we are no better than the garbage piled on the streets. 

They wouldn't care.

As I thought about all of this, I looked around, trying to see if I could spot Dr. Brandt. If I couldn't avoid anyone, I at least wanted to avoid him. That was how I felt, until I saw...

_Shit... the black bearded guard... The one that took me to see Arthur on our first night at Arkham. He is walking right towards me. Okay, never mind. I want to avoid him._

Forgetting that I was wearing a wig and contacts, I shot my gaze down to the floor - basically watching the usher's feet to know where to go. I even brought my hand up to the hairline above my forehead to fake an itch so I could somewhat cover my face.

I had promised him two 'anythings' to get him to take me to Arthur and of course he cashed those in for exactly what Arthur was expecting. I hated it. I didn't want to comply, but I did it because I promised him anything. And honestly, I foolishly thought that if I complied without a fight, he would take me to see Arthur again. A quid pro quo situation. However, I was sorely mistaken. He never took me to see Arthur, after that night, and he took advantage of me more than just those two times. Of course, I tried to fight him off those other times. I was never really successful until the medication pushed me onto a whole other level of violence that I had never been accustomed to. Then I wasn't worth the struggle anymore, so he just stopped. He probably just found someone easier to take advantage of. So, I guess something good came out of all the shit they put me through at Arkham.

I stole a glance at the guard again. He was so close and I could swear I saw the glimmer of recognition in his eyes. In quick desperation, I tapped the usher on the shoulder so that he stopped and turned to look me.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Before I sit down. Where is the bathroom?"

He didn't even have the chance to point out his finger before I was quickly walking away from him, accidently knocking into a couple of people that were in my path. I didn't really need to use the bathroom, but when I - by sheer coincidence - came across one, I decided to take refuge in it for a few minutes to calm myself. 

When I walked in, there were already a few women at the mirrors adjusting their hair and makeup. They looked at me through the reflection in the mirror and I quickly looked away from them as I made my way into one of the stalls, locking the stall door and putting the toilet seat down so I could sit on top of it.

They seemed to continue on with what they were doing even though I had barged in on them. They started talking some gossip, which I could not follow along with since I didn't know any of these people. Still, it was interesting to hear these seemingly perfect people talk about their problems - almost making them seem like the rest of us. 

Almost. 

I sat there for a few minutes, listening to them until my mind began to wander. Sean said that they could hear me through the wire. Could they hear these women talking right now?

_I wonder what they think about what they are hearing. Are they annoyed? Bored?_

Then my thoughts were inturrepted when I heard one of the woman say 'Wayne' and I jerked my attention back to them.

"He is here? Poor kid, I'm sure he would rather be at home."

"Well, he is the son of Thomas Wayne. He will be expected to run his father's business as soon as he is old enough. He needs to attend things like this and get to know all of his constitutes."

_Bruce Wayne is here too? God, could this get any worse._

Sure, it was very unlikely for Bruce to recognize me as his parent's killer since I covered my obvious features; also adding to the fact that it was very unlikely for him to be able to make out much of my appearance in that dark alley while standing so far from me. Still, just the thought of him being here was throwing me off.

I heard the women continue to talk about Bruce as they exited, until the door closed and there was finally silence. I sat there for a few minutes until I convinced myself that I had to get up. I had to get to my seat. I exited the stall and walked over to the sinks, where the women had been before, placing my hands on the counter and supporting my body as I leaned towards the mirror. There was a frown plaguing my face.

_I can do this._

I slowly replaced my frown with a smile.

_I can do this._

I took a deep breath and pushed myself off of the counter and exited the bathroom. As soon as I walked out, I saw that the usher, who had previously been leading me to my seat, was standing against the wall that was across from the bathroom.

He took a few steps towards me when he noticed me, "I'll take you to your seat now, ma'am."

It took everything in my power to keep my face from twisting with regret, "Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, please. Thank you."

I followed the usher back into the big room, keeping an eye out for Dr. Brandt, the guard, and Bruce Wayne, but I was able to make it to my seat without any other interruption. However, seeing the table just made me realize that I really wasn't truely safe yet. I failed to even think about the fact that these tables sat 6 people. That meant I would be sitting with 5 over people during this event. Who would those 5 people be? Since I was here to talk about 'my' experience with Dr. Brandt, does that mean I would be sitting with him? Would the guard be sitting here too?

Then, almost as if God or fate (or whatever force was truly in control of the world) was determined to be as cruel to me as possible, I felt a sudden pressure on my shoulder and I had to place my hand on my chest to keep my heart from jumping out. All of the air escaped from me as I gasped in fear, so I worked on catching my breath as I turned to see who was touching me. Looking up from my seat, I saw the unforgettable face of Dr. Brandt. 

When I say unforgettable, I mean that in both positive and negative senses. He was an extremely handsome man, I admitted that to myself the very first time I saw him. Even during my stay at Arkham, it was hard not to find myself lost in his baby-blue eyes. He was like the attractive villian in countless movies I had seen. You watch him doing horrible things throughout the whole movie, but whenever the camera zooms in on his gorgeous face, you can't help but disregard it all and swoon while thinking:

_If only he wasn't a bad guy..._

However, my skin-deep attraction to him obviously didn't cancel out the hate I had for him. I hated him with all of my being. He basically aborted my child, tortured me, and did whatever he did to Arthur - he still hadn't told me, but I didn't have the stomach to ask either. The details really didn't matter though. I just knew that he tortured both of us and it was time for him to get his share. 

Seeing Dr. Brandt in person lit a sudden fire in me, I could feel it burning in my chest. I agreed that we needed to get back at him, that's why I was here. However, I suddenly felt the determination to get back at him. Up to this point, I was nervous about failing. Nervous that someone would see through my ruse, but now I knew that I couldn't let them. I would have to do whatever I needed to do to make this work. I was ready to do whatever I needed to do.

_I **can** do this._

I stood up from chair and turned around to face Dr. Brandt as he let out a chuckle, "I'm sorry, Heather, I didn't mean to scare you. I said your name a couple of times, but you weren't paying any attention."

_I probably didn't pick up on it because he was calling me Heather._

I smiled at him, "I'm sorry Dr. Brandt, I was mentally practicing my speech."

He waved a hand toward the crowd, as if dismissing them, "Don't stress about it too much. A lot of these people don't pay much attention at these things. They're just here to wine, dine, and throw their money at a cause in need to feel better about themselves," he then ushered me back into my seat as he sat in the chair next to me, "so tell me, how have things been?"

His eyes were dripping with concern, something he never did during my stay at Arkham. I placed my hands on the table and gently tapped a couple of fingers against the table top, trying to think of the safest thing to say.

"Things have been good. I have been sticking to a routine. I can't complain."

He gave me a friendly smile and placed one of his hands on mine, rubbing his fingers against my skin, "That is so great to hear, Heather. I hadn't heard from you in so long; I was actually worried about you."

"Y-yeah, I'm sor--"

He leaned in towards me slightly, "I know Cynthia almost caught us, but everything is okay now," he glanced around, "so I would definitely love to see you again sometime."

After hearing him say this, the feeling of his hand against mine was sickening, but I knew I had to play into it.

I crossed my legs, 'accidentally' hitting his lower leg with the side of my foot, "I would love that too," I gave him my best 'come hither' look.

He bit his bottom lip slightly, "Great. How about we meet at the usual place this coming Tuesday night. Sound good?"

I rubbed my foot up and down his lower leg, "Sounds amazing."

He patted my hand and stood up, "Well, I better get to my seat. Looks like this thing is about to start. I'll see you around," then be winked at me and walked off.

_That was easy._

I watched him make his way to another table, until there was a loud pounding sound coming from the stage. I turned my attention and found that someone was standing on the stage at the mic. He announced that they were going to start the event.

_Here we go..._

I turned myself in my seat so that I was facing forward towards the stage. It didn't take too long for the other five seats at the table to be filled up by other attendees. Thankfully, none of them seemed to know Heather because they really didn't acknowledge me besides a quick, obligatory smile.

The event started and it was horribly listless. It was just one rich person after another talking about things they didn't have a single clue about. They pleaded at the rest of the group, explaining how more money for the hospital would help in unexplainable ways. If only it were that easy. Someone needed to tell these people that what they really needed to do was to replace the horrible corrupted doctors and staff that ran the hospital. They needed to staff the hospital with people that actually cared and would actually do the necessary work. 

The more the event went on, the harder it was to listen to these people talk. I did everything that I could to just drown out their screeching voices...

Until...

"Tonight, we have an amazing guest. She worked with Dr. Brandt and eventually overcame horrible hardships. She is an inspiration and a testament to the amazing work that is going on at Arkham Hospital. I want to introduce everyone to... Miss Heather Coleman!"

The man that introduced me looked directly at me and waved for me to join him on stage. Everyone turned and looked at me as they began clapping. I stood up, faking bashfulness, and started my way towards the stage.


	9. Magic Trick

From the stage, I looked out at the crowd - completely in awe of it all. I grew up in the slums of Gotham and it was all I had ever known. I mean, I knew places like this existed. I knew that beautiful people got together and had their expensive parties, but never had I experienced something like this first hand. 

Every single person shimmered in the bright lights of the beautiful room. Their bodies sparkled from head to toe and it was quite mesmerizing. It was almost like staring at a huge, famous painting - admiring it from afar and wishing you could reach out and touch it or maybe even reach into the painting and grab some of that beauty for yourself. 

I took in all of their smiling faces. They were so happy, so content. How could they not be? They could do and have whatever they wanted. However, they were also completely unaware of the chaos that was about to engulf them. It wouldn't be much longer before their happiness was to be torn asunder. Soon, their money would mean nothing because they wouldn't be able to pay their way out of this mess.

I heard Mark, the guy that introduced me, clear his throat behind me. My silence must have gone on for too long; I didn't notice, I was too busy staring. I turned towards him and gave him an apologetic look before smiling out towards the crowd. I didn't really know how Heather would act in this situation, but I was going to do my best. I just had to keep my goal in mind. I had to get Dr. Brandt onto the stage.

As I went into my speech, I tried to be as vague as I could - careful not to give too many details that could blow my cover. I talked about PTSD and drug addiction. Obviously, it was easy for me to talk about drug addiction. Too easy. I actually found myself shamelessly romanticizing drugs at one point; no wonder Arthur hated the idea of me having anything to do with drugs. Drugs were the 'ex-boyfriend' he truly had to worry about - more so than Todd. 

Then I carefully maneuvered my way through 'Heather's journey of healing' and how she worked side-by-side with Dr. Brandt to work through her issues and get herself on the right path towards success. Of course, now knowing how tangled their relationship was, I wondered if she really was healed or if she just replaced her old addictions with a new one. The addiction of carrying out an affair with a married man, a man that was her doctor. I wondered if she slipped back into her old ways once Dr. Brandt had to cut ties with her while he glued together pieces of what was his cracking relationship with his wife.

Once I felt like I had provided the crowd with a decent enough story, I turned my attention to Dr. Brandt and smiled at him lovingly. He smiled back at me, which reassured me that he believed the story. A surge of confidence warmed my body and I knew what I had to do next. It was time to bring him up onto the stage.

"I don't know where I would be, if it weren't for Dr. Brandt," I motioned for him to come to me, "Please, Dr. Brandt, come join me so we can all give you praise you deserve."

He looked surprised by my words. The crowd turned towards him and began to cheer, coaxing him to join me on stage. At first, he shook his head and mouthed words that I couldn't make out, only causing the crowd to cheer louder. He looked at his wife and she pushed him on his shoulder softly until he hesitantly stood up and made his way to the stage. 

When he got up to the mic, he slithered his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I forced myself to reciprocate the affection by wrapping myself around him. The closeness was instantly suffocating and made my stomach twist into a knot. My mind couldn't help but worry over the fact that I may be forever stuck to his slimy skin if I didn't end this hug in time, but I had to play it cool. He just needed to believe I was Heather for a little bit longer. 

He whispered in my ear as he rubbed his thumb against my back, "What are you doing to me, Heather?" His voice was playful.

I whispered back in response ghosting my lip by his ear, "Just put on a happy face and it will all be over before you know it."

The crowd was still cheering as he pulled away from me and I took several steps to the back of the stage where Mark was so Dr. Brandt could take the place by the mic and address the crowd, alone. You could tell by his posture, he truly felt worthy of the cheers. Little did he know, I had already given the signal and the night was about to take a steep dive into chaos. While I didn't exactly know what was about to take place, I knew that Dr. Brandt was going to be knocked down from his pedestal and get exactly what he deserved.

Dr. Brandt fiddled with his cufflink as he spoke into the mic, "I wasn't expecting to be put on the spot like this, but I d--"

Dr. Brandt's words were quickly inturrepted by the sound of people busting into the room, shortly followed by the sound of doors slamming shut. The beautiful elite began twisting their heads around, this way and that way, trying to get a sense of what was going on. 

Men wearing clown masks were making their way from the doors to differing positions in the room. The first victims to see the guns, held by the masked men, screamed in horror, causing the still-oblivious ones to question what was going on. Before too long, the whole room was driven to a low panic. People were ducking under the tables, some of the braver men attempted to wrangle guns from the intruders, and others tried to slip away unnoticed to a door - only to find that the doors had been locked. 

After watching this unfold before me, I looked at Dr. Brandt, who had taken a step back from the mic. He was obviously shocked by the unfolding events and he hoped he could get away by running towards the stairs located on the side of the stage, but a large man, also wearing a clown mask, formed a barricade on his steps towards freedom. This caused Dr. Brandt to stop in his tracks and take a few backward steps towards me. The masked man then rushed up the stairs, grabbed Dr. Brandt by the collar of his shirt, and placed a gun to his head. 

The masked man jerked Dr. Brandt towards the front of the stage and yelled out, "Everyone sit the fuck down or we will start shooting!" I automatically picked up on his voice - it was Sean.

The other masked men, that were scattered around the tables, began to echo Sean's threat and, for the most part, the panic began to settle. The people that were out of their seats carefully made their way or were forcefully ushered back to their seats. It took a few minutes for silence and stillness to finally prevail over the crowd.

Dr. Brandt attempted to pull himself away from Sean's grasp, which was laughably unsuccessful, but he was still able to feign a fragile courage as he struggled, "What do you t-think you're doing?"

Dr. Brandt received a response, but it wasn't from who he was expecting, "Saving this event from itself."

Dr. Brandt stopped struggling to assess where the voice was coming from. The voice was raised, in attempt to be heard by everyone in the room, but whoever was speaking was still out of Dr. Brandt's line of sight. He didn't seem to recognize the voice, but there was no doubt that he was feeling that prickling sensation of fear - starting from the base of his skull and traveling down his spine. Meanwhile, the voice caused my ears to burn with familiarity.

Everyone, except Sean - who was keeping his attention fully on Dr. Brandt, peered into the direction of where the voice was coming from. Before too long, a man with green hair, a painted face, and colorful clothing made danciful steps up the stairs, onto the stage, and towards Dr. Brandt. The sight of him brought out a collective gasp from the crowd, while simultaneously causing butterflies to flutter within the deep pit of my stomach. A thick fog of fear began to overtake the room, but I was looking in with rose-tinted glasses. These people were fearing for their lives, but I only felt the burn of longing for the man in the colorful suit.

_For Art--- Joker._

Dr. Brandt's eyes followed Joker as he danced his way to the front of the stage next to Dr. Brandt, but far enough away to be out of his reach - just in case he decided to try and be brave, not that Sean would actually allow Dr. Brandt to get away with anything. 

When Joker made it to a favorable spot on the stage, he spun around and then threw his arms up in the air, presenting himself to the crowd as a toothy grin spread across his painted face. He looked around at his silent crowd of victims, but he didn't seem deterred by this; his confidence never faltered and I wondered what was going on in his head. 

Did he hear cheering? Would he even care if _they_ cheered for him? These weren't his people, his followers. These were the people that shunned him, stepped over him. These were the people that would see something or someone that they wanted and they would just reach out and take; just as Thomas Wayne did with me. These were the people that needed to learn their lesson. What would their cheers really do for him?

Joker let out a small, hearty chuckle, "This party was dying, so I thought I'd come by and breathe a little life into it!"

"A-Athur Fleck?!" Dr. Brandt was in such surprise, it was really all he could spit out in the moment.

Joker slowly dropped his arms down to his sides as he turned his head towards Dr. Brandt, his smile curving down into a frown, "It's Joker. You know that."

Dr. Brandt scoffed, "And you know I never played into your deluded fantasy and I won't start now. You're Arthur Fleck."

Joker rubbed his chin with his hand as he turned his body and took a step towards Dr. Brandt. The room was so quiet that I could actually hear the sound of his shoe tapping on the stage. Then he took another step. Joker's eyes never wavered from Dr. Brandt's face, while it was obvious that Dr. Brandt was struggling to maintain his courageous composure. The intensity of Joker's stare filled the room. Sean, myself, everyone in the room - we all felt it. Even though he wasn't staring at us, we felt it. We all saw Dr. Brandt's eyes struggle to stay focused, until finally...they darted to the ground.

Joker chuckled again, happy with himself for dominating Dr. Brandt in their impromptu staring contest, and clapped his hands together as he turned back to the crowd, "I have some great entertainment in store for you all tonight, but I am running short on time. So, let's jump in with both feet, shall we? First, I need a volunteer."

He brought his index finger up to his smiling lips, as one would do if they were going to hush someone, while he slowly scanned the silent crowd. Everyone watched in anticipation, until his eyes landed on a beautiful, elderly couple that sat at one of the tables closest to the stage. The wife hid her eyes away as soon as Joker dropped his finger from his mouth and pointed directly at her.

"We have our volunteer!"

The husband grumbled some argumentative words as Joker pulled a deck of cards from his pocket with one hand and motioned for one of the goons to come towards him with the other hand. He handed the cards to the goon and spouted off instructions - telling the goon to shuffle the cards and fan them out in front of his reluctant volunteer. As the goon carried out his assignment, Joker went on to explain what was about to take place. 

"Ma'am, choose whichever card you want, look at the card, remember it and, above everything else, _don't_ let me see it. You can show it around to your husband and the other guests at your table, but don't show me. There are two possible things that could happen. I will either locate your card or I won't. If I don't locate your card, you win and I'll only take your money and jewelry. However, if I _do_ locate your card, that means I win and I'll kill your husband," his voice was so warm and enthusiastic until he came to those few final words, then his voice turned frigidly cold.

The goon had just fanned out the cards in front of the lady when Joker finished his explanation. The woman looked up at Joker and shook her head as a stream of dark tears began running down her cheeks. Joker motioned his hands towards her, coaxing her to pick a card, but she only squeezed her eyes shut and started mouthing the word 'no'. She kept mouthing it until she had the courage to add sound. It started as a whisper, but she slowly added more and more volume.

"........no....no....No.......No.........NO!"

To stop her insistent defiance, Joker stomped his foot on the stage, "SHUT UP!"

The woman almost jumped out of her skin. Really, almost every one in front row of tables did. Joker's voice was so loud and terrifying; it even echoed off of the walls. I had no idea he could be this demanding and loud.

He pointed down at her as he growled, " _Don't_ make me come down there and _make_ you pick a card."

The woman was sobbing now. Her cheeks were covered in streaks of tears and mascara. I could even see the glistening of clear snot running down from her nose. She looked at her calm husband and, even though I couldn't hear what he said, he visibly urged her to obey. 

Her shaking hands poorly attempted to wipe away the mess on her face as she took in a few deep breaths to calm herself and, most likely, buy some time. She was probably relying on the fact that the GCPD would arrive just in time to get them out of the mess they were in. Little did she know, that wasn't the case. I wasn't exactly sure what Sean had set up, but - on our way here - he assured me that the GCPD would not be able to disrupt our crashing of the fundraiser. Honestly, I didn't need to know any more than that. Whatever Sean said, I believed him. He had done so much for us at this point, it would be horrible of me not to believe in him fully.

The woman reached out her hand slowly, her hand still shaking, and her eyes focused on the goon that held the cards, more so than actually looking at the cards. 

"Oh, and when she picks out her card, make sure you take a look at it too. I don't want them thinking they can get away with lying to me," Joker commanded to the goon as he turned around so that his back was facing the crowd to guarantee he wouldn't see her card. 

Music obviously began to fill Joker's head because he began to twist his legs and arms in fluid motions, entertaining himself while he waited for the woman to chose the card that would decide the fate of her husband's life. He lifted his head and looked up, scanning the ceiling until his eyes slowly made their way back down to the back part of the stage where Dr. Brandt, Sean, Mark, and I stood. His eyes jumped from Dr. Brandt, to Sean, to Mark, and then finally to me. He parted his lips ever so slightly, just enough so that I could see his tongue slide against the back of his teeth from one side to the other, and then he winked at me. I had to look down at the floor of the stage to avoid the crowd seeing me smile at him.

A minute of silence passed and Joker was getting bored, he turned his head so that the crowd could see the profile of his face, "Wrap it up, I don't have all night."

His goon shouted a response, "All's good, boss."

Joker spun around and motioned, impatiently, at the goon to give the deck of cards back to him as he spoke to the woman, "So, you remember what card you picked?" 

She nodded her head.

With the cards in his hands, he shuffled them, "And you put it back in this deck, right?"

She nodded her head again.

He held the deck vertically between his index finger and thumb, putting it on display for the whole room to see. Then he fanned the cards out, holding them in one hand. His other hand teased above the fanned cards, as if he were debating on which card to choose, before slowly withdrawing it away.

He was still for a few seconds before he suddenly threw the cards up into the air. All 54 cards took flight, spreading out and aimlessly fluttering down to the ground, and landing in varying places on the stage, the floor, and a couple of the tables.

_What is he doing?_

Then he pointed at the woman's husband, "Get his wallet!"

The goon rushed over to the husband, pulling him up by the arm to a standing position, and jammed his hand down the gentleman's pocket. The old man did nothing, just halfway raised his hands in the air, communicating surrender to make sure no one mistook him for trying to fight against the assault. I watched the wife, her eyes darting between her husband, the goon, and Joker. I could see a smile ghosting across her face, as if a weak hope was flowing through her. Was this a sick joke? Did Joker plan to just rob them all along? She watched on as the goon, after feeling around and finding nothing, switched to the gentleman's other pocket and soon pulled out a black leather wallet. The goon held out the wallet towards Joker, presenting it to him proudly.

Joker smiled, "Open it up to find a card inside and show it to our volunteer so we can see who the winner is!"

I saw the hope drain from the woman's body. The goon opened the wallet, looking through every pocket, searching for the card that Joker spoke of. Everyone watched in anticipation, but none more so than me. Arthur had performed his magic tricks and silly acts in the past, but I definitely never expected him to pull something like this tonight. What was he planning? What was he getting at? I had so many questions. 

The goon let out a devious chuckle as he worked on gripping his fingers around something he found in the wallet. However, before he could pull it out, Joker threw a hand out into the air.

"Hold on."

Then Joker lowered his hand and slithered it towards his waistline, reaching for something that was out of sight, hidden by his red suit jacket. He left his hand there for a few seconds, savoring the moment before he slowly brought out his hand - revealing a gun, earning a collective gasp from the crowd. It was the very same gun Arthur used on his first set of victims. Johnny. Nicholas. Andrew. Murray Franklin. How many lives would this gun claim tonight? How many would it claim before all was said and done?

He messed with his gun, getting it ready for the task at hand, "Okay, I'm ready."

The goon pulled the item out of the wallet and held it out for the woman and her husband to see.

Silence.

I could only see the back if the item, but the designed matched the design on the cards that were strewn around on the stage. So there actually was a card in the man's wallet. I was truly shocked. 

Then, the woman let out of sharp sigh of relief, "That's not my card!" 

Both her and her husband looked at each other in a way that I imaged was the very same look they gave each other when they knew they had fallen in love. They were immediately pulled from a world of terror to Cloud Nine - if only for a second.

"What?!" Joker growled out in disbelief.

The goon looked at the card and then up at Joker, "Yeah, boss, this ain't her card."

Joker lower his head at an angle, looking downward towards the ground to the right of him, and was completely still. I couldn't see his eyes from where I was standing, but I knew he was in deep thought at that very moment - most likely trying to figure out where he went wrong with his trick. Then he adjusted his stance awkwardly and, for a second, I thought his confidence was breaking. That was my thought until...

"Fuck!"

He cursed out to no one in particular as he took a few steps to the right, shaking his head as he looked at the ground. Once he arrived to the end of the stage, he turned and made his way towards the left of the stage, continuing a string of mumbled curses. There were even a couple of times he raised the gun to his head and used it to scratch at his temple. He paced around a few times before finding his place on stage closest to the elderly couple. He looked down at them with knitted brows and lips that were pressed into a hard line. They looked up at him with cautious relief. 

He relaxed his hand, that was holding tightly onto the gun, dropping it down to his side and raised the other one up into the air with indifference as he calmly conceded with a smile, "Looks like you won."

There was a collective noise from the crowd mixed with sighs of relief from the rich elite and groans of disappointment from the goons. The woman whimpered as she hugged onto her husband and he reciprocated by kissing her lovingly on her forehead. I looked over at Dr. Brandt, curious of how he was enjoying the 'entertainment'.

**BANG!**

Almost everyone in the room, including me, instinctively ducked at the sudden sound of a gun shooting off. Echoes of that single bang and a handful of screams filled the room. Once I recovered from my reflexive movement, I quickly fixed my eyes back on Arthur to see what happened. I saw him holding the gun up in the air. My eyes scanned the scene, moving from Joker, down his arm, to his hand that held the gun, and the path that the bullet would have taken. My eyes landed on the elderly couple, but the scene was completely different than it was mere seconds ago.

The husband held onto his wife, gripping onto her upper arms tightly as he carefully shook her limp body, and stuttered out her name. One side of her face was drenched in blood, it was pouring from a hole in her head, and the husband absentmindedly reached his hand up towards her wound as if he would be able to stop the bleeding, as if he could keep her alive.

But she was already dead.

Now, with one of them dead, the beautiful elite began to bubble into a new episode of panic. The people that sat at the table with the elderly couple basically fell out of their seats in attempt to distance themselves from the dead woman, as if she would soon reanimate and come for them next. Women began screaming and crying. Some of the men, either by courage or complete animalistic instinct to survive, attempted to fight their way out. The goons immediately worked to regain control of the crowd, some of them punching or shooting at the more rowdy victims.

In the midst of the chaos, Joker looked up towards the ceiling and widened his smile, bringing his cheeks up to their highest point, forcing his eyes to squint. His lips pulled away from his teeth as he let out a laughter that bellowed from his throat. Here he was again, standing in complete bliss as chaos surrounded him. 

He laughed until his lungs were devoid of all oxygen. He rested the gun against his stomach and bent his body forward as he brought his free hand up to his throat. My body jerked at the tug of habit; I wanted to go up to him and comfort him while he struggled through his laughing episode, but I stopped myself. Would someone in the crowd see me go up to comfort him and take it as a moment of weakness? Would they try to do something? I doubted it, not with all of the armed goons around, but I didn't want to take that chance either.

There were a few more gunshots and a few more dead bodies before the room returned to a forced silence. Joker straightened his posture as best he could, taking in broken breaths of air as he forced his clenched throat to open up. It took a few seconds, but he finally regained enough air to focus on the next part of his 'act'.

"Our...haha...next, ahem, volunt-ahah...volunteer will be," he looked back towards Dr. Brandt, "well, I - ha - think it should be your beautiful wife, Dr. Brandt. Mmhah. What do you think?"

Still looking at Dr. Brandt, Joker motioned in the general direction of the goon that was stationed closest to Dr. Brandt's wife, Cynthia. The goon made his way to her, grabbed her, and stuck his gun against her head. She, of course, shrieked out in fear as the rest of the crowd whimpered with concern for their friend, for Joker's next victim. I looked over at Dr. Brandt and he took a step forward, but obviously didn't go anywhere since Sean was still holding onto him. Dr. Brandt's eyes widened, as if in terror, but he didn't say anything out loud in protest.

Joker smiled as he witnessed his terrified prey crying in fear, but his smile slowly faded as he turned his head towards Dr. Brandt. It was as if he was disappointed or displeased by Dr. Brandt's reaction. Joker wanted to hear him plead and beg for his wife to be spared, but there was nothing but a deafening silence coming from Dr. Brandt.

Joker pressed his lips into a hard line and knitted his brows together, "Why are you so calm, Dr. Brandt?" He took a couple of steps towards Dr. Brandt, "Don't you love your wife?"

"Y-yes, I do."

Joker tilted his head, like a confused puppy, "You do?"

"Of course, but I refuse to let you believe you're in control here."

Joker scoffed, " _Believe_ I'm in control? I just killed a woman and now have a gun held to head of your beautiful wife. I don't _believe_ I'm in control. I _am_ in control, Dr. Brandt," he was so deliciously smug about it.

The only thing I could think about in that moment was how badly I wanted him to _control me._

"An-any second now, the GCPD will bust in here and take you down. Cynthia will be okay. We will be okay. Whatever you hoped to accomplish tonight, just forget it!" Dr. Brandt was suddenly propelled by a strong sense of confidence.

A foolish and misplaced confidence.

Joker's face was overtaken by a devious smile, "Is that so?" He then rubbed at his chin in deep contemplation, "You know what I think, Dr. Brandt. I think I just don't have the right source of motivation for you," he walked to the edge of the stage, looking out towards Cynthia, "that must make your wife feel horrible," he then motioned for the goon to let Cynthia go.

I watched as the goon shoved her back in her seat and she shoved her face into the palms of her hands, hiding her fear and shame from the watchful eyes of the crowd. Joker was right, finding out your significant other doesn't care about you enough to fight for you would be horrible. However, it actually saved her life in this situation.

Joker then turned around and started walking towards Dr. Brandt. Once he was directly in front of Dr. Brandt, he turned to the side and continued walking. As he walked, he spoke to himself out loud, so that the whole room could hear him, asking himself what would be better motivation for a man than his wife. As he mused his question, he walked past Dr. Brandt, Sean, and Mark. I was standing a little further away from them, so I thought Arthur would turn around once he made it to Mark and go back towards Dr. Brandt. However, he kept walking in my direction. I lowered my head slightly, but kept my eyes locked firmly with his. My heart fluttered with every step he took towards me. Why was this so exciting? Was it because I had to act like I didn't know who he was, because I had to act like I was afraid of him? It was like a role play; I squeezed my thighs at the thought of it.

Finally, he stood in front of me, looking down at me without giving away any inkling of emotion. I feigned my fear by closing my eyes as I pushed my chin all the way to my chest and withdrew my body from him, putting as much distance between us as I could without actually taking a step backwards. In mere seconds, and to my surprise, I suddenly felt him grab onto my upper arm and yank me towards him, causing me to gasp out in surprise. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, but his focus was on where he was going. He made his way towards Dr. Brandt again, pulling me behind him. Once we made it close to Dr. Brandt, but not close enough for him to reach me, Arthur forced me to stand in front of himself, my back flush against his chest, placing his free hand around my throat and the gun against my head. The cold metal of the gun against my warm skin sent chills down my body, but I wasn't afraid. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. I had an understanding of why he was doing this.

Joker lovingly rubbed his chin against the top of my head, "A little birdie told me that Heather here is more than just a patient of yours, Dr. Brandt."

Dr. Brandt's eyes flitted between me and Joker, "I don't...know what y-you mean... She was a pati--"

Joker interrupted by waving the gun at Dr. Brandt disapprovingly before placing it back at my head, "No, no, no Dr. Brandt. Don't lie. You will crush this girl's heart if you discount your relationship with her."

"I-I did not have a relationship with her. N-no more than a doctor-patient relationship. That's it."

Arthur hummed as he slowly moved his head down so that it was in the crook of my neck. His lips ghosted against my skin, causing the hair on the back of neck to stand on end. It took everything in my power not to reach up with my hand, take a handful of his candy green hair, and close the distance my skin and his lips. 

"Well, I've been wrong before," without moving his head, Joker's eyes flicked up towards Dr. Brandt, "so, you won't mind if I take her, then?"

Dr. Brandt was silent as Arthur suddenly twirled me around and brought us to a dancing stance. Arthur and I practiced dancing a little bit, but that was well over a year ago. Was he really going to make me dance in front of all of these people?

My question was soon answered when he took a step, leading me into a dance. I did my best to follow his lead; there was no music playing, besides what was going on in his head, so that was really all I could depend on. My steps were definitely shaky, but it wasn't too bad.

We danced around for a bit until he spun me around into a dip, somewhat roughly, and smashed his lips against mine - his lips completely dominating mine. Normally, I wouldn't have the restraint to keep myself from kissing him back, but - as soon as he kissed me - I felt the air hit my head suddenly. My eyes shot open when I realized what happened - my wig fell off. 

_Shit._

There was another collective gasp from the crowd as Arthur pulled away from me. 

Once he saw what happened, he looked up at Dr. Brandt with a false concern, "Oops."

Dr. Brandt did a double take, "W-wait. Tha-- She isn't?"

Arthur pulled me up into a standing postion and chuckled as he ran his fingertips down my neck and shoulder, making me shudder with pleasure, "I guess the cat's out of the bag."

"W-where is Heather?! What the fuck did you do to her?!" Dr. Brandt was slowly losing his calm demeanor.

A smile once again played across Joker's face, "Ah, that's the response I was looking for!"

Dr. Brandt struggled to free himself from Sean's commanding grasp, "If you fucking hurt her I'l---"

Joker waved a dismissive hand towards Dr. Brandt, "Your threats won't be necessary. She's already dead and soon you will be too. Sean, get him out of here!"

Dr. Brandt's movements ceased and his whole body dropped from a sudden weight of sadness. He tried stringing words together, but he was in shock. Honestly, I was too and it was hard not to show it. I had specifically asked Sean what was going to happen to her and he told me that nothing was going to happen. She was an innocent in this, she was someone like me. She didn't deserve to die because of Dr. Brandt.

_We will have to discuss this when we get home._

Sean immediately went into action, pulling Dr. Brandt along with him - down the stairs and out towards an exit.

Joker turned us around and looked out towards the crowd, "Goodnight ladies and gentlemen! It's been fun, but it's time for business!"

He took my hand in his and quickly lead me off the stage and towards an exit, following where Sean had gone. When we made it to the exit, a goon placed himself between us and the door.

"So, did you get the boy?" Joker's voice was hopeful.

The goon shook his head, "Sorry boss, seems his butler got him out before everything went down. We couldn't find him."

Joker cursed as he pushed the goon out of our way and opened the door so we could exit the room. As we made our way through the empty lobby, Arthur let go of my hand and quickly worked on lighting up a cigerette. Once he successfully lite one up, he carefully placed it between his lips and held onto it as he took a deep drag from it. His other arm wrapped around my waist as we walked out of the event building. 

As soon as we made it outside, a black car came to stop at the sidewalk directly in front of us. Arthur let go of my waist, skipped ahead of me, opened the car door, and motioned for me to enter the car first. As soon as he took his seat in the car and slammed the door shut, the car took off from the scene.


End file.
